I'm a Sponge

Hey, psst, I'm talking to you. Did you know that your child is listening, that your child is watching and what's even worse they are soaking up everything around them. You may think that your children are too young to understand what's on the t.v. screen. You may think that because they can't speak they can't understand profanity. I've got to tell you that you are mistaken. Children are like sponges. What's more they have not yet developed any filters, so they can't get rid of the bad stuff they've been exposed to. Think about that for a few days. Let it really sink in.

Everything you expose your child to, he will absorb like a sponge and it will become a part of him.

This is not a new concept. Back in the 1800's, Walt Whitman wrote a beautiful poem:

THERE was a child went forth every day;
And the first object he look’d upon, that object he became;
And that object became part of him for the day, or a certain part of the day, or for many years, or stretching cycles of years.

He goes on to speak about lilacs, morning glories and young lambs, but he also speaks of the town drunkard and the parents and the teacher. Everything the child sees becomes a part of him. Let's assume for a minute that this is true, which I wholeheartedly believe it is, would that change how you do things or the things you do with your child?

What a Phony!

Have you ever felt like a phony, a fake, a fraud? It's as if you are at work and then suddenly someone will walk in and point to you and say, "What's she doing here? She's not qualified, capable, educated!" This is especially true if you starting a new endeavor. Do you think any of the Presidents ever felt that way? I bet at least some of them have. I once saw an interview with Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman and Julianne Moore and all three of them admitted that every time they take on a new project, they feel completely incompetent and the fear that they will be called out as frauds. WOW!

If we persist however, slowly we grow into our new roles. Whether we are new parents concerned that we are in over our heads, (I remember when my son was just two weeks old, I broke down and in between tears and sobs, I confessed to my husband that I didn't think I was capable of raising a child for 18 years!) or we have a new position at work or we are working our way through a new creative endeavor, slowly we find our rhythm and start to feel a new level of confidence and competence.

So it goes with children and learning. Can you image a director telling Ms. Streep that she's not really acting? Or someone telling Bill Gates, that without a college degree he can't possibly be a billionaire? So let's never tell a child who brings us their scribbles that they can't write. Or tell a child that the story they are telling us is not what is written on the page. Kids need to grow into their roles as readers and writers. If we support them through the process, like a great director, soon they will blossom into their roles.

"I see education as creating in our classrooms the kind of world we believe in, and then inviting children to role-play their way into being the learners we want them to be."~Jerry Harste~

The Lies They Tell #1

You are going to hear all kinds of lies throughout your parenting journey. The people telling you these lies are not liars per se. They are usually well intentioned human beings who genuinely have the best interest of your child in mind, but they lie just the same. They sometimes don't even realize they are lying. They are simply passing along lies that they were told or heard at a conference or in-service. Among the most blatant and common lie is:

"If your child has not mastered reading by the time he is (insert random age here) he will be behind his peers and will probably never catch up!"

Don't you believe this for one minute! You are a good parent and deep down in your heart you know better. You know that children develop at different rates. That they have different interests and different skills at any age. If you child is not reading by age 5, 6 or 9, but you are reading to them, exposing them to books, exposing them to language, your child will read at some point barring any severe retardation and even then I would be hesitant to say that the child will never read. Blind children, deaf children, children with down syndrome learn to read, why wouldn't your child? Helen Keller learn to read. Frederick Douglass was born a slave and he, like many slaves, learned to read. My father's cousin was illiterate until the age of 10, he went on to become one of the top orthopedic surgeons in his country. My own father arrived in the United States at the age of 39, with a sixth grade education. He learned to read, write and speak English. These are just a few examples, but history is rife with many more. So if your child can't read at six, don't fret and don't, not for one minute, believe that your child will never catch up, of course he will.

Teaching Math

If I had a nickel for every time I said, "I hate math!" I'd be a very rich woman indeed. In fact I finally, FINALLY got over my fear of math when I was shopping with my husband and we came across a %off sign. Something we wanted to buy was $69.99 and it was 25% off that price. My husband said, "So it's...(and he paused to figure it out)" I said it's about $53.00. He looked rather surprised and asked how I had figured it out so fast. So a said, "I rounded up to 70 and then did half, which is 35 and then half again which is 17, 70 minus 17 is 53." He laughed, "No, I know how, but how did you do it so fast?" I shrugged, because honestly I didn't know. I was struck because I always thought I was awful at math and percentages is math and I just realized that I was good at percentages! Slowly I started to realized that I was good at math and that in fact I didn't hate it. Math was rather fun.

When I started teaching my own kids, I never allowed them to say that they hated math or the math was hard. When ever they expressed frustration with math, I would tell them that they just needed to be more familiar with whatever it was that we were working on. Now when they come to something challenging they actually dive in and try to see it in as many different ways as they can until they feel comfortable.

So how do we teach very young kids math? I don't think we should, at least not in a traditional work sheet type of way. For young kids I love rocks. You can get a nice bag of big rocks at Dollar Tree. They love sorting the rocks. I let them become familiar with whatever manipulative (parents and teachers love that word...hehe) we are working with. So I'll set out the rocks and let them touch them, stack them, count them, play with them in anyway they choose for at least two days. Then I bring out the egg carton. Each space labeled with numbers 1 through 12. I ask them to filled each space with the "amount" of rocks that the number indicates. Language in math is important. I use the word "amount" not the word "number." A number is after all abstract. Amount is tangible. Much laughing ensues after about filling the fifth slot. "The rocks are too big!" "They don't fit." I love this next step where the kids problem solve. Very few have no concept of what to do. (It usually comes after a while or with a little prodding) Most kids will say they need smaller rocks or a bigger container.

The best way to teach math is to let children count, add, subtract, divide and multiply with their hands, through touching, sorting, filling, cutting, emptying and grouping. This makes math very real. As they get older they won't be intimidated by long division because they been doing just that!

I prefer to let children do all of the above with rocks, twigs, dolls, dishes, hot wheels etc. The more they are allowed to relate math to their surroundings the easier it will be for them to identify how math is used everyday. Baking and cooking are also excellent tools to teach math, as are knitting or crocheting. Keep it simple, keep it real.

Fear and Children

I've started about four different blog posts in the past week. Somehow none of them came to fruition. They all just fizzled out midway and I lost interest. This morning a story on NPR caught my attention. It was concerning the new regulations proposed by the Department of Labor concerning youths working on farms. You can read the story in the Farm Futures blog.

Immediately I asked myself what this was really about. Is the government REALLY trying to eliminate family farms all together? Is this a cynical plan by Con-Agra to consolidate their power in producing "great food?" (Their words, not mine.) Then I heard the spokesperson for the Department of Labor. He spoke about the dangers of "children" driving farm equipment. He remembered his grandfather being hospitalized for months after an accident with a forklift or a combine or some other machinery that I know nothing about. He seemed genuinely concerned.

Of course this all left me asking more questions. Was his grandfather a child when he had his accident? I doubt it, since he remembered it. So, does that mean that if his grandfather had a horrible accident, a child is bound to have one too? I'm not trying to make light or diminish the inherent dangers of big machinery. I am trying to bring to light that there is inherent danger in any experience once you are born. Driving a car, flying a plane, climbing a mountain are all inherently dangerous, yet people do these things, often with children in tow. Climbing a tree is considered too dangerous by some homeowners associations. Walking to school is considered dangerous by most communities.

In a society where we have little to fear, (except our own power and stupidity) we have come to fear our own shadow and we are instilling this fear into our children by shielding them from all dangers, real or perceived. We do not fight wars on our land, we do not die of thirst or starvation, yet we protect our children from the joys and challenges of lives as if their lives depended on it.

It does! Their lives depend on taking risks if we want them to be fulfilled. Their lives depend on being purposeful if we want them to be productive. Their lives depend on the ability to explore their limits, talents, capabilities and curiosity to the very precipice of their being in order to be able to take the reins from these very frightened adults and make fearless decisions about their future.

There is of course another argument against this farm youth labor law which I am just as passionate about, that is the hubris of government believing that it can make better decisions in family matters than families can. How far will we allow government to reach into our lives? The Department of Labor thinks that by passing laws it can better protect children within their own families, yet the USDA wants pizza to have vegetable status. The question then becomes which of these two things is hurting more of our children? Each year hundreds of children are hurt or killed on farms but how many are being slowly killed of future heart disease and diabetes by the horrendous diets served to millions at our local public schools? How many children our we harming by restricting access to fresh air and physical activity? How many children are we dumbing down by continuously restricting them of every conceivable danger? How many laws will the government need to pass in order to keep our children safe? More importantly who is protecting them from perhaps well-meaning but terribly frightened adults?

Observing

When was the last time you sat in silence with your child and observed nature in action? These moments are few and far between. With the mastery of speech comes an onslaught of verbal observations. Look, mommy look! This is the child's anthem. I have often used the "it's quiet time" just so that I could have a moment to concentrate. Sometimes I use it at the grocery store so that I can have a minute to read a label, or in the car so I can concentrate as a search for a particular address. If not checked, children (and some adults) will start their verbal onslaught upon waking and it will continue throughout the end until lights out at the end of the evening. I once found my son sitting behind the sofa in quiet contemplation and asked him what he was thinking about. I NEVER made that mistake again. It was just so strange that I was actually concerned that something was wrong.

One of my goal for the kids in the program is to balance them out a bit when it comes to verbal chatter and quiet time. We tend to associate verbal fluency with intelligence and there maybe a correlation. However there is a difference between verbal fluency and verbal chatter. I tell the kids all time to use their words like pearls. They should be helpful and beautiful. You can say, Where's the marble? Where's the marble? Where's the marble? over and over again or you can say , help me find the marble. The first only serves to annoy because the marble can't hear you. The latter illicits help and it will help solve the problem of the lost marble.

Quiet moments can be magical. Once long ago my son and I were sitting on the couch sipping hot chocolate and watching the snow fall. Not a word passed between us but we shared so much that day. I strive to have moments like this a least on a weekly basis. This morning I called all the kids to come to the back door. I put my finger to my lips as they each joined me, letting them know to be very quiet. There was a cat prowling outside, stalking our resident blue birds. We watched quietly for a second when one child piped up. "Look at the cat!" I put my hand on his shoulder, smiled and without saying a word I put my finger back up on my lips. No words. It was a gentle reminder. I did this a couple of times with different children. It's hard to keep quiet when something exciting is going on. We managed to observe the cat until he grew tired or bored and he jumped the fence into the neighbors yard. I then had the kids draw a picture of what they observed. It was awesome. Once their pictures where done they each got a chance to share all about the cat and the bird. It was interesting how each one shared something different. The observations were not jaded by someone else's experience and in the end we all got more out of it.

Giving voice to your thoughts can be empowering and healing, but it loses it's value if it's done constantly and without thought. Quiet observation is also quite powerful. I often tell the kids about Jane Goodall. She just sat for years and watched the chimps. Why they ask. I tell them that's how she learned about them. Sometimes I tell them, all your questions can be answered if you quietly observe your surroundings.

Sit Down, Shut Up and Learn

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me. I've been struggling to keep up my spirits through the spring that feels more like a very wet California winter. I'm struggling to follow through on getting the word out for our summer program. I'm struggling to finish up the kids school year.

I'm also struggling to maintain a positive attitude in light of the course that public education seems to be taking. I've been struggling with this for a long time. I try to stay informed with what's going on in public education because I feel that of all the government programs, this is the most important. I go from being depressed about what I read to being horrified by it. I recently wrote a long post in opposition of making school days longer. While I stand by what I wrote I am willing to concede that longer school days may be advantageous to a small percentage of students. Just as I was coming to this conclusion, just as I was thinking that perhaps I'm viewing public school programs from my one-sided perspective, I received this gem in my inbox. I was livid! I decided not to write about this program right away. I decided to let in sink in, to view it from a different perspective. In the meantime I checked into the credentials of Health and Human Secretary Kathleen Sebelius. and her Deputy Assistant, Joan Lombardi, Ph.D. Ms. Sebelius holds a Master of Public Administration degree from the University of Kansas and a Bachelor of Arts degree from Trinity Washington University.* Dr. Lombardi holds a Masters in Early Childhood Education from Boston College and a Ph.D. in Human Development Education from the University of Maryland. Dr. Lombardi is the author of Time to Care: Redesigning Child Care to Promote Education, Support and Build Communities, and co-editor of A Beacon of Hope: The Promise of Early Head Start for American’s Youngest Children.* These certainly are impressive credentials.

What is not at all impressive is this new government program. According to the HHS Secretary herself, this $500 million early learning initiative is designed to deal with children from birth onward to prevent such problems as 5-year olds who "can't sit still" in a kindergarten classroom. When did we start to consider this a problem? Five year olds are not supposed to sit still. It's reading about programs like these that want to make my head explode.


Five year olds are active curious children. Spending $500 million to teach them to sit still is like spending money to teach a river to flow upstream. We may accomplish it, but at what cost and for what purpose? It seems that there is a huge disconnect between achievement and learning in our public schools. Our students can achieve any task we set ourselves to enforce, that does not mean that they are learning anything useful from it. I use the word "enforce" because I cannot forsee "teaching" a skill such as sitting still. This is not something that is taught, it is enforced. Enforcing rules is not a bad thing per se, if it sets the child on the path to success. Here we thrive on following daily rhythms with the sole purpose of instilling healthy habits in the youngest children. These routines or rules must always meet the child where he is developmentally. A five year old is just mastering his physical abilities. He thrives on "see what I can do." The child has an intrinsic need to be physically active, to be physically challenged.

The article goes on to equate "sitting still" with health:

“You really need to look at the range of issues, because if a 5-year-old can’t sit still, it is unlikely that they can do well in a kindergarten class, and it has to be the whole range of issues that go into healthy child development,” Sebelius said during a telephone news conference on Wednesday to announce the Race to the Top Early Learning Challenge.

While I agree that there are a whole range of issues that go into child development, I don't see how spending millions to promote "sitting still" contributes to any of them. I want you to forget for a moment about these women's credentials and I want you to think about what you have just read. Does that sit well with you? Does it make sense to you? What does your gut tell you about this program?

There seems to be something sinister here, when our government can misspend this kind of money but 47 teachers in our Salem-Keizer school district are getting pink slips which will leave already overcrowded schools with even more overcrowding. It seems that these programs are missing the mark. Our goal should not be to prepare children for school, our goal should be to prepare children for the next stage in development and subsequently for life. We are so concerned whether or not children are prepared to enter school that we seem to forget that school is a place of learning as much as home is. What a child does not know, he can learn. He can learn it in kinder or in first or in second grade. There is no tragedy here, except for our expectations. My own children differ greatly in the progression of their physical and cognitive development. My son starting reading at 4 years of age with little help from me. He was 8 years old before he finally conquered the monkey bars at the park. My daughter is an artist and a bit of a daredevil (sometimes) but struggled to read. At age seven, she still reads slowly and needs help to sound out words. I still have to hold a space for her when she reads. These children are being raised by the same two people in one environment and yet they differ greatly. How can any agency expect to have a group of 5 year old children that are developmentally exact? Instead this money should be spent on training teachers to meet children where they are developmentally and to lead them to thrive. Now the goal should not be to level the playing field because that would mean that children that are developmentally advance would not be encouraged to continue to thrive until others caught up. Isn't that in a nutshell our public education system? No child left behind? Actually all children are getting left behind.

Frankly I'm getting a little fed up with agencies and many school districts blaming parents for all of their children's short-comings. It creates a toxic culture and it is that culture that our children are supposed to learn and thrive in. I agree that parents are their child's first teacher, but child develop differently all across the spectrum. Most children enter school at age 5 or 6 and to the dismay of the district they are already "behind." Some can't count to 100, some can't add, some can't sit still. Of course the parents are to blame, what have they been teaching their kids anyway? While in school our children are offered the lowest quality food imaginable (that is slow changing, thank goodness). Physical education classes are being cut as is recess because the kids are lagging "behind" academically, then when there is a rise in obesity or childhood diabetes, it is again the parents who are blamed. It's all those McDonald runs for dinner or video games the kids play. Seriously? The school districts play no part in our children's failures?

I believe they do play a huge role in our children's failure to learn, to thrive, to be healthy. I believe it is programs like these that send a message that at five years of age, a child who cannot sit still will FAIL! While I find it a ridiculous suggestion, it will be eaten up hook, line and sinker by most people who do not stop to think that perhaps all these agencies have everything on the line except our children's health and welfare. I give thanks everyday that we have made the sometimes difficult choice of keeping our children out of this system. I still struggle with the thought of some many people not having any choice at all. I struggle with that fact that these highly educated individuals running all these government agencies seem to have no concept of how a child develops or what is appropriate for them during their development.

The good news is I do see change in the horizon. That will be the subject of an upcoming post. I would love to hear your thoughts about this program. Leave a comment or send me an e-mail.

Peace,

Alida

Extending School Days...Not a Good Idea.

In my in box this morning I received an article touting an extended school day. It notes the extended school days are being championed by both the left and the right. Wohoo! Finally something we can agree on, except I don't agree at all. We have President Obama, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan and even Mr. Bill Gates himself pushing this "wonderful" idea of longer school hours. In a recent interview, Mr. Gates not only sang the praises of longer school days, but also mentioned how wonderful it would be for kids to attend school on Saturday! This from a college drop out! That, however is a whole different ball of wax I won't address here. While I understand the interest in educating children and I may even understand the motivation to want to take underprivileged kids out of an "undesirable" home environment so that they can learn, it just won't work. First the very idea of linking "underprivileged" with "undesirable" is unconscionable. We label and label until we can label no more, but even more than label we inhibit human growth by placing non existent barriers in front of children and their parents. Poverty or lack of privilege does not need to equal a poor education. Benjamin Franklin was not a man of means. Abraham Lincoln was born poor. Helen Keller was blind and deaf. They were certainly underprivileged! Yet, I cannot imagine their lives becoming more or richer by being institutionalized for longer days. Abraham Lincoln didn't even have much of a formal education, yet he managed to become a lawyer and one of the greatest Presidents of our Nation. Thank goodness he wasn't torn from his mother's bosom and placed in a school with long days of academics, no art to speak of and hardly an hour's worth of recess. Surely this is not the way to make our children thrive. No, longer school days are not the answer.

The answer definitely lies in education, but not as it is thought of traditionally. To have well-educated children, we must have well-educated parents. By well-educated, I mean parents that take an interest in learning and improving themselves. Parent who are consciously making decisions that are appropriate for them and their family. Well-educated people choose based on the knowledge they have acquired, not based on the knowledge fed to them by government, media or well intentioned but misguided politicians. So a well-educated parent, no matter how poor, does not allow their child to be placed in programs that will not benefit the child. A well-educated parent will not allow their child to be given medication that causes severe side effect, unless they believe that their child will benefit from the medication, no matter how convenient it would be for the teacher or how profitable it would be for the pharmaceutical company.

This article fails to even regard parents! It also fails to regard that ever important issue of budgeting. We are furloughing teachers, closing schools, cutting programs, but hey let's make school days longer! Shall we have underpaid teachers work for free? Will Mr. Duncan, Mr. Gates and Mr. President work at these schools for an extra hour? That's only three schools, what about the rest of them?

Let's not consider other alternatives or consider why a longer school day is needed. Would cutting class sizes to something reasonable thereby enabling teacher to teach instead of instilling crowd control techniques, eliminate the need for longer school days? Would offering education classes for parents living in undesirable conditions (with the promise not of money or a free service, but rather the enticement of raising self-esteem and leading a decent life) help eliminate the need for longer school days?

A lot of money is being given to districts that come up with innovated ways to improve education. I haven't come across anything innovative yet. I just keep seeing more of the same. If our school systems are failing, and I believe they are, why would I want my child spending even more time there? That is the question we should all be asking.

I Don't Pay for Them to Play!

Play to an adult may seem or feel frivolous or irresponsible. It may feel like a major waste of time. As adults we rarely play...even when we do. Many spend hundreds of dollars on gym membership, but surely this is not play, after all who really looks forward to the gym. ("Not I," said Alida) Some adults are even on teams playing baseball or softball or basketball, but surely this is not play! It's exercise, it's blowing off steam, it's staying fit but rarely do we describe it as play. Some adult even "play" video games, but they do it to relax, to disconnect after a hard day at work. This surely cannot be play. It has a purpose, a reason, we engage in these activities because they are good for us. We rarely stop to take note of ALL the benefits of play, especially for the youngest among us.

Sometimes when parents come to see the preschool they tell me about other places that they have visited. I have heard about babysitters that sit in front of the T.V. all day while the kids play all day long. My mind is simple. It thinks, T.V. all day - bad. Children playing all day - good! I've heard parents tell me they want to know what kind of academics are offered, because they are not paying to have their children play all day. My mind thinks, academics - good. Children play all day - good! I can totally understand wanting to reap some very specific benefits from any kind of learning environment, especially if you are paying top dollar. While we do offer an academic program, we do it through play. Play after all is the work of the child.

On Tuesday, March 29, 2011 I am speaking at the Salem Central Library on this very topic. Joining me is Pam Houghton from Mrs. Houghton's Gingersnaps Child Care and Playhouse. We will be discussing the value of play in child development. We will be detailing what exactly your child is learning while he plays. We will be listing what the best toys are and I guarantee you'll be surprised! We will also be leading a workshop where you will be making a toy to take home for your child.

If you are a parent looking for quality care or a child care provider wondering how to explain the importance of play to parents of children in your care, I urge you to join us. I will be revisiting the subject of play many, many times on this blog. For now, I will leave the details of our workshop and I headed off to "play" with the kids.

Ivy League-West and Mrs. Houghton’s Gingersnaps present:

The Value of Play in Children Development

Join Alida Chacon and Pam Houghton as they share their views on the value of play, which toys elicit imaginative play and what ways you can engage your child through play.

Come share your thoughts, questions and ideas. Make a toy to take home for your child to play with the next day.

Salem Central Public Library

585 Liberty St. Salem Oregon

Plaza Room

March 29, 2011

7:15 pm to 8:45 pm

Cost: $5.00 in advance $7.00 at the door

Seating is limited. Call to reserve your seat today.

503.510.1136

Improving Education

On PBS Need to Know they are asking for one practical idea that can be implemented in a classroom to help students. Why only one? I've got a million of them but I doubt that they would ever be implemented, unless I implement them myself. Just for full disclosure, I'm working on them already.

Education is so often approached as a commodity that needs to be improved. A new marketing strategy to be implemented. The question that always arises is how can we get kids to learn. If we are really honest however the question would be how do we get kids to learn what we want them to know and how can we gauge that they are learning what we want. You see kids learn all the time. The problem that adults have is that we do not interpret their knowledge and know how in a valuable way.

For instance, not one of my three year old students knows how to add and subtract. If you ask them if they know any math, addition, subtraction, number sentences, what 1+2 equals they'll either say no or look at you with a blank look because you have literally lost them. Their young minds are wandering the time and space continuum and they are not even aware that the sound coming from your mouth is a question. Now take that same child and hand him three rocks. Ask that child how many rocks he has and wait for him to count them. One, two, three. He will proudly proclaim he has three rocks! Give the child one more rock and ask him how many rocks he has now that you gave him one more. The child will count the rocks again beginning with one, ending with four and he will proclaim he has four rocks. This child has just added. Not in a linear 3+1=4, but in his own round about way. More than that the child has begun to grasp a concept. See 3+1 means absolutely nothing to a 3 year old. You might as well introduce E=MC2. You may get the child to repeat 3+1=4, just as he is capable of repeating E=MC2, that does not mean he understands the concept.

In math, schools have introduced Cuisenaire Rods. Everyone is just crazy about them. It teaches kids how to group by tens and do an array of fun math activities. I've never heard such nonsense. What exactly do a group of plastic cubes mean to a child? Why would you want to count them? Why would you group them? How does this fit into their lives? Now give a kid a group of rocks. Tell them the story of Stone Soup. Now tell them that this boy started a business selling stones to villagers to make stone soup. He was so successful he set up a warehouse where he kept the stones. The warehouse needs to be kept neat and he needs to keep track of how many stones he has so he puts ten stones in each bag. Then every ten bags he puts in a crate. Every ten crates he puts in a wagon etc. The child can now relate to counting and sorting to something real.

Education does not need to be improved! What needs to happen is that we need to change our perception of what education is and how it needs to happen. I took a botany class once and there was not one living flower introduced the entire semester. The district has thousands of dollars to spend on textbooks that have drawing and pictures of flowers, but they couldn't spend a couple of hundred dollars at the flower market to buy the actual thing we were studying. How does this makes any sense?

So my one practical idea is to stop elevating education to the point where it becomes inaccessible and let's make education real.

The Little School That Could

Do people ever say something to you and it sets off a trigger. Your reaction is perhaps overblown, even as you tell yourself that the remark is completely well intentioned. Friends ask me all the time how my "little" school is going and frankly it drives me nuts. I react the exact same way my children do when I call them "little man" or "little lady." I'm Not LITTLE!

I'll admit the school is not big. It's about 900 to 1000 sq feet. The children are not big, although our oldest is twelve and we've got some great things happening with our after school crowd. Mostly we have young kids, 4 to 8 years old. I'll even admit that I am little, although I prefer the word petite to describe my physical attributes. Standing at a mere 5' 1", I am not a big or tall woman. I doubt however that anyone would describe me as small. I don't do small. I do big! I think big! I plan big! Sometimes I even fail in a great big way.

As adults we sometimes think of children as being incomplete beings. Adults tend to focus on everything the child has to learn. After all, they don't know much. They come into this world with only some very basic survival instincts. I like to think about not how much the child needs to learn but how much he has learned. Most kids are walking upright by age one. That's huge! Think about the coordination, the persistence, the muscle that is needed to get yourself up and learn to put one foot in front of the other. It's mastered by age one. Language is another big feat. Children go from goo-goo to go bye-bye to see you tomorrow in a matter of years. These are great big accomplishments that usually occur naturally with some guidance but little interference from adults.

Of course we know that learning never ends. Even when our physical growth has run the gamut, we continue to learn and grow intellectually and spiritually. It's an ongoing process. Learning is always a big deal. Here at Ivy League-West there is always something big going on, even if it not apparent at first. There is the child that sits with a somewhat vacant expression during story time. I'm not sure if the child is even listening or if he is off in a land of his very own. Then one day as I'm reading a chapter of Charlotte's Web during lunch, he cheers because Charlotte has decided to go to the fair with Wilbur. He excitedly informs me that Wilbur is the pig. I can't help but smile. There is the child that points out that I gave her 1/2 a sandwich and that earlier we put 1/2 cup of milk into the muffin batter. These jumps and connections are learning in a big way. There is the really precocious and bright child that is learning to maneuver the social sphere. She is learning that it is not appropriate to argue with the teacher. She is learning to let other children draw their own conclusions. There are children who have learned how to jump rope. Some have learned to bat a ball, some have learned their colors. Some are learning the alphabet and some are learning to write.

Little things are not what we are about. Ivy League-West is a place where big things happen everyday. So if you see me please feel free to ask me how things are going at school, but please don't call it the "little" school.

Thanks,

Alida

USDA

I don't participate in the USDA program. One reason is that there is an awful lot of paperwork involved. The way the program works is the USDA or some other government entity (I'm not really clear on that point) pays me about .45 cents per lunch served and about .20 cents per snack. Something like that. There are two tiers and I don't qualify for tier one because of my location, so I qualify for tier two which pays less. Anyway, in order to get this whopping .65 cents per day, I have to fill out of ton of paperwork. The truth is that I rather write in this blog or upload a video or have my teeth cleaned than fill out government forms. Secondly I've looked through the menu of items that I'm "allowed" to serve and frankly I was not the least bit impressed. Although I've had many assurances from the broker who handles the program that I am not obligated to serve hot dogs, it seemed to me that hot dogs were actually mentioned quite a bit during our conversation.

I understand the food pyramid, but I see no value in serving bread with macaroni and cheese. It just doesn't go together, but if I was part of the program, guess what? Yes, I would have to serve bread because there has to be two servings, blah, blah, blah. I serve plenty of bread. In fact on a weekly basis we make some sort of bread. It's either banana bread, pumpkin bread or a crusty french loaf. I never serve them with macaroni and cheese.

I also choose not to participate as a matter of principle. I find it interesting that the USDA is responsible for serving kids lunch at school. I find it interesting that state and federal governments cut funding on physical education classes or cut them in favor of adding more core classes and then parents are blamed for the rise in childhood obesity!

I've added a menu link to the blog. The food is not extraordinary, it's just wholesome stuff kids like. When I can I buy organic. I always buy the best I can afford. The USDA can keep it's .65 cents and maybe spend on improving public school lunches, but somehow I doubt it. I seriously doubt it.

Jack of All Trades...

...master of none. There is always some truth to these age old sayings. I'm sorry I don't take infants. That's what I tell people on an almost daily basis. At Ivy League-West our students must be three years old on the first day of school. I will consider taking a two and a half year old if they have an older sibling enrolled in the program. I do this not because I'm not good with infants or toddlers, I do it for two very important reasons. First I feel that infants and toddlers need to be cared for by their parents or grandparents or other close friend or relative of the family. Children this age need the security of someone who will be a constant in their lives. I understand that there are circumstances where people need someone to care for their infant, but I'm just not that person. The second reason I don't accept infants is because I work very hard on the curriculum for preschool. I don't know how people teach a preschool curriculum with infants around who need constant care and attention.

I home school my children. We do school work in the early morning before the preschool kids arrive, then we work while the preschoolers rest or nap and we do school work on Saturdays. My children are also older so they can work on some of their school work on their own and I can correct it after 6:00 p.m. While there are preschool students at Ivy League-West, we do a preschool curriculum. It's fun and engaging enough that my school aged kids still participate. Sometimes I can incorporate some of the school aged curriculum into the preschool curriculum combining the best of both worlds.

Tomorrow I'll let you know why I've chosen to NOT participate in the USDA food program.

Peace,

Alida

The Power Struggle

There are many things that have helped me prepare for my career in Early Childhood Education and in education in general. I think an understanding of how child develop and where they are in a particular stage in development is of utmost importance. However the one book I've read that I think has helped me the most is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The agreement I remind myself of constantly when I'm teaching or simply interacting with another person is do not take things personally. This is by no means an easy task. So much of what we do is wrapped up in our egos. I'll be writing a lot more about egos and education in a few day, but for now I'm going to keep it close to home. How would an agreement like this help in your daily dealings with kids? I know the scenarios I present here are not typical of a home environment, but you may still be able to take away a few things that may help alleviate the daily power struggles that present themselves if you have a toddler, two year old, three, four, five, six year old, a teenage or if you happen to be married or even if you are a hermit who has to go out and buy food then and again.

First keep the agreement in mind. Remember that your child is not doing whatever it is that is getting on your nerves to get on your nerves. No, no I won't allow you to argue this point. I know you "just know that Johnny is doing a, b or c on purpose to push your buttons." I'm telling you otherwise. It's true, Johnny may be doing it to get your attention, or because he is getting a kick out of your reaction. Maybe poor Johnny is trying to figure you out or can't help himself. I'll bet that 99.9% of the time, Johnny (be he your son or husband) hasn't the slightest clue as to what is upsetting you. My question to you is why are you allowing those buttons to be pushed in the first place? Why do you take what Johnny does personally?

Here are some facts I want you to keep in mind while you hold on to that agreement.

1. Johnny is his own person even if he is three years old.
2. Johnny is selfish. This is especially true if it's a child, but even most adults are looking out for themselves. (After all, isn't it selfish of you to believe that Johnny's behaviour is a reflection of your parenting?)
3. You cannot control Johnny. I know this is hard for parents to accept, but we must change the prevailing mindset that education equals control. The truth is you can control through coercion but never through education. You may control your children for a awhile through coercion, but what are you teaching your children? To be followers? To only do good if there is a prize involved? To only behave if you are looking?
4. Your ego is way too big if you cannot let go if little annoyances. Time to rein it in.

Now that's we've set up some guidelines let's examine a scenario that I face with at least one, sometimes two of my precious little ones everyday. The scene is the transition from free play to circle time. In your house the scene may be the transition from free play to dinner time.

Miss Alida: "It's clean up time, it's clean up time. It's time to clean up."
Boy #1: "It's time to clean up."
Boy #2: "I don't want to clean up! I want to play!"
Miss Alida: (ignoring Boy #2's comments) "It's clean up time, it's clean up time. Jane is cleaning up. It's clean up time, it's clean up time. Boy #1 is cleaning up."

Now either Boy #2 says, "Me teacher, I'm cleaning up, say my name." as he joins in the clean up or he sits there and pouts. If he is indeed helping, he is mentioned in the song. If he pouts, I ignore him.

We move on to circle time. Boy #2 is still uncooperative. I make sure to thank the children individually who helped clean up. I proceed with circle time. Boy #2 sits with his back to me. I begin reading. Every now and then Boy #2 turns to listen to a particularly funny scene or to look at a picture the kids were laughing at. Once he says, "Teacher, can you go back I didn't see the picture?" I do. I go back and show him the picture. We continue with circle time and he slowly starts to join in. We are having a discussion and when I ask him a question, he remembers he is not supposed to be enjoying this and turns his back again. I say nothing and move on to the children eager to participate.

Now in the middle of the second story Boy #2 says out loud, "I'm hungry!" I look at him and put my finger up to my lips (shh) and continue the story. Boy #2 gets up and walks in front of me and says, "TEACHER! I'M HUNGRY!" I stop. Look him in the eye and say very, very quietly, "You are not allowed to interrupt me during my story, that is not kind. Being kind is one of our rules. Go sit down." Boy#2 sits down with his back to me until story time is over.

I tell the kids, lets go to the table. We are going to bake bread. All the children run to the table. Boy#2 sits pouting and says, "I'm not going to bake bread." I ignore him. I walk over to the table and join the children eager to bake. A few minutes later, Boy #2 runs in. "Hey, wait for me. I want to crack an egg." He joins us and there are no more issues for the rest of the day.

I could have taken his behaviour personally and reacted by demanding that he "behave". You will join us, you will listen, you will participate! That would have taken my attention away from the kids that were eager to participate. What this boy was doing was not hurting him, or hurting others. What he was doing was exercising control over his body, his choices and so long as he wasn't interrupting me, I was fine with it. I wasn't taking it personally. Maybe, he had a rough morning, or not enough sleep. Maybe he wanted to see how far he could go before I got mad. I didn't.

By not engaging in a power struggle with a three year old I was able to maintain my authority. By allowing a bit of leeway in letting him control things that really didn't affect the outcome of the day, I showed him that I respect his feelings and moods. That they have nothing to do with me. I also made it a point to emphasis one of our rules, be kind. I did not allow him to cross that boundary of disrespect.

Now what if you are home and you say, "Johnny clean up, it's time for dinner" and Johnny ignores you? What ever will you do? Here are some suggestions.

1. Give Johnny a 15 minute warning. "Johnny in fifteen minutes, you will need to put your toy away because you need to help me with dinner." Note that is Johnny is under six and he has every possible toy out you will have to help him clean up or you are going to yell and scream until you are blue and Johnny will not clean up anyway. Deal with it. Young children cannot clean up a room full of toys by themselves. So even before this becomes in issue, get rid of most toys. Allow Johnny one or two toys to play with before dinner. (I know, I'm really mean!)

2. Remind Johnny every five minutes. "Johnny in ten minutes, in five." 'Okay, time to clean up."

3. Be specific. "I need you to set out the napkins and spoons."

If Johnny ignores the 15, 10 and 5 minute warnings, you go in and say, It's time to clean up and without saying another word, YOU put the toys up and then say come help me. If he refuses, you set the table. If you sing or do something that looks like fun or out of the ordinary, you will peak his curiosity. This works especially well if there are other siblings involved. Make no mention that Johnny is not listening or is misbehaving. Make sure to praise anyone who helped you set the table in Johnny's presence.

4. Be Patient. Rome was not built in a day. Character takes a long time to develop. We teach best be example, by modeling, by being the kind of person we would be proud for our children to grow up to be.

5. Do it again tomorrow. When things become rhythmic and predictable, Johnny will know what to expect and will know that he can be difficult, but it's going to happen anyway. He'll eventually come around. See #4 again...be patient.


Save your power struggles for big important things. There are not many in life. Life is made up of many little things that have the potential to bring us great joy or grief depending on how we handle it. Your little ones will learn. We must make sure that learning is never coerced, that it develops and blossoms like a flower or a butterfly. Children come to us with their own unique programming and views and we may guide gently and kindly so as to not break their fragile spirits.

Children never do things to spite us, unless that's what they have been taught. They do things because they are curious or because something inside says they must. We are not the center of their attention, only they are. Nothing should be taken personally. Guide them to the brighter future in which they will be our leaders.

A Typical Week

Many have asked about our curriculum. Here is what a typical week looks like at Ivy League-West.

The theme is: Friendship

Monday
(Baking/Cooking)

Prepare and bake an Amish Friendship Bread loaf (or two)

Tuesday
(Painting Day)

Watercolor with yellow paint on one huge sheet of paper.
Friends working together.

Wednesday
(Coloring Day)

Trace each others hands and color them in red.
Make a hands friendship wreath for our door.

Thursday
(Crafting and Games)

Make friendship bracelets with string and beads
Toss the ball and say one kind thing about the person who catches it.

Friday
(Modeling/Housekeeping)

Help each other clean off table tops, sweep floors, sort and fold laundry.

Our schedule flows as follows:

Arrival
(Greeting, introductions and free play)

Morning Circle Time
(Calendar, Story Time in English and Spanish,
Singing in English and Spanish, Finger Plays,
Music and Movement)

Morning Activities
(Depending on Day of the Week ~ See Above)

Morning Snack
(The children help prepare and serve snack)

Out Door Activity
(Scheduled Games)

Wash up - Prepare Lunch Table -Eat Lunch Family Style

Story Time - Nap Time

Wash up - Prepare Afternoon Snack- Snack Time

Free Play
(Indoors or Out)

Wash Up - Story Time - Departure

I Think I Can

So I needed to complete one more class before my application could be considered and it was not scheduled in Salem until August 16th. I made a few calls and was informed that I could take the class in any county in Oregon. One was being offered on July 27th in Clackamas County. I called and registered and the kind lady gave me directions which I wrote down on a pad of paper. I recall she said take the Clackamas Town Center exit turn left and go to 95th and then make another left and we are the third driveway on the left.

Tuesday came too early because Monday was one of those nights that I didn't sleep well. I went to bed late, then about 1:00 a.m. I heard Luke crying. I got up to check on him and he was having a bad dream, so I talked him through it and stayed with him for a bit. At 3:30 a.m., Isabela called and asked me to turn off her fan because she was cold, then the alarm rang at 6:00 a.m. As I was getting ready to leave, I noticed the pad with the address was not on the desk. Hm? Well, I remembered the directions so I felt pretty confident I would find the place. I was on the road by 7:30 a.m. for a class that started at 9:00 a.m.

First I took what I thought would be a shortcut to the freeway only to encounter road repairs and detours. Then, I haven't been to the Clackamas Town Center in years so I thought it was off highway 5. I took three different exits off the 5, but found no town center at all. I called the town center business office but they didn't open until 10:00 a.m. I called home. Sergio told me the town center was off the 205, not the 5. Great, I still had plenty of time. I took the 205, but saw a sign for Oregon City. What?! I thought I was going the wrong way so I turned around, only to find myself back on the 5. Grrr. Okay, back on the 205 and this time I found the Town Center. It was only 8:40, so I still had 20 minutes and I knew I was really close because I remembered the directions the lady gave me. Only when I turned left off the freeway, there was no 95th street. Maybe she didn't say 95th, maybe she said 103rd? Yikes. I see a Clackamas County Office building, so I park and try to go inside. The building is closed and has a sign that says they've moved. I head to the new building. No one knows what I'm talking about, there are no classes held in that building. Someone suggests I try the training center two blocks down. It's now 8:55. I call the Clackamas County Child Care Division which is where I called to schedule the class, the English message says the office opens at 8:30 a.m., the Spanish message says they open at 9:30 a.m. I'm quickly losing confidence. I leave a message asking someone to call me back with directions. I head over to the training center, no one knows what I'm talking about. Someone suggests I try the Sheriffs office, one block back. I call the office again and leave another message. It's now 9:10 a.m. I go to the Sheriff's office, no luck. As I walk out I see some construction workers across the street. I go ask them. They have no idea, but one fellow has an i-Phone. He types in the name, no luck. He googles the phone number, no luck. We look for 95th street, no luck. They suggest I try on the other side of the freeway. I explain the lady clearly said two lefts, not two rights. It's now 9:30. I call an leave a bit of a frantic message.

The temptation to skip out on the class and head to Nordstroms Rack is strong. I push it aside as I see a car the had a Clackamas County sign on the side. I ask the lady. She has no clue what I'm talking about but gives me directions to the County's Child Protective Services office. I'm on the verge of tears. I call the office again. Again I get their voicemail. It's now 9:45 and I just want to go home. Nordstroms Rack is not the slightest bit appealing at this point. I sit and cry and then gather myself. I start heading home...but then I turn the car around and head in the direction of Child Protective Services. It's a long shot, but I have to give it a try. As I'm turning around, I call the office again.

HALLELUJAH! Someone answered. I'm elated, ecstatic! I explain that I've been lost for an hour and that I know I'm so close. The lady on the other end of the line confirms that I just need to head to the other side of the freeway, but because I missed an hour of class I won't get a certificate of completion. I want to cry again. I tell her, but I've left numerous messages and I drove all the way from Salem. She tells me to head down and that she would talk to the teachers. I find the place in two minutes. I speak with the teacher and we agree that I will stay after to have her go over what I missed. Excellent.

I drink in the two hours that are left feeling ever so grateful that I didn't give up. During the second half of the class we get a new teacher. She ends the class and hands out all the certificates. All except mine. Everyone leaves and there I sit. She smiles and asks if I have a question. I tell her I'm waiting for Sonya to come back to go over what I missed. She smiles and apologizes for giving me bad directions. She goes on to inform me that Sonya had an appointment at 11:00 a.m. and won't be back. "She'll just have to get in touch with you on another day." I smile and thank her. I pick up my things and head in search of the woman who answered the phone. I find her and ask her to help me find Sonya. I follow her around the office and she finally turns to me and says, "You know, I'm just going to go over it with you. I used to teach the class, so I can still issue certificates."

We found a quiet corner and she gave me more information than anyone else got. She gave me tips and contacts. She gave me the skinny on what to say when I need something. She was awesome!

To think I was so ready to give up.

When the world says, "Give up,"

Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

Standards

Like any educational entity, here at Ivy League-West we must adhere to state standards. While I like the idea of having a standards system in place, it's not the end all to all. I like knowing that all preschools need to have a fire extinguisher, a first aid kit and an evacuation plan ready. I like knowing that the yard the children play in must be free of debris and hazards. However, holding up a "we meet state standards" sign does little to tell me if this is the school I want my children to be enrolled in. I would much prefer to know what that particular school or daycare standards are.

State standards after all are meant to maintain a "minimum". The least that you can do to be licensed is meet state standards. So at Ivy League-West we strive to meet our own high standards. Yes, state minimum standards are met, that's a given once we receive our license, but our own standards far exceed any minimums set by the state.

What we will be providing is a service to the children in our care, not just to their working parents. Our first standard will be to keep the children as our primary focus. We will maintain a balanced environment. Children will have stimulating experience but also time to relax and recoup. It is during this "downtime" that children process what they have learned. Our second standard is to maintain a healthy balance between activity and rest. We will engage the children in activities where they will naturally learn about themselves, about others and about their environment. Children learn best by doing, so will be "doing" a lot of cooking, cleaning up, nurturing and experimenting. By engaging the children in real life, they develop a feeling of worthiness and purpose. Our third standard is to make sure children have a place of value within their community. Children also learn by playing. During the day, the children will have plenty of time to use their imagination. Most of the toys at Ivy League-West are made of natural materials such as wood, wool, cotton and linen. Due to the high cost of such toys we will have limited toys that are made of plastic, although not our first choice, we feel that the few plastic toys that are available will enhance the child's learning and playing experience and is worth the exception being made. Our fourth standard is to protect the sanctity of childhood by allowing children to enjoy their childhood and by not expecting them to be mini adults.

Lastly but quite important to parents is that at Ivy League-West we recognize that you the parent are your child's expert. Our role is to be supportive and a resource to you should you need guidance or suggestions. We do not strive to be surrogate parents, nor do we strive for perfection and we certainly do not expect perfection from any parent or child. Our fifth standard is to provide an excellent service to children who deserve no less thereby relieving some stress and anxiety from the parents day.

Feel free to print these up and take them with you when you are looking for a daycare facility for your child. Let me know if you find another excellent daycare that adheres to standards higher than those minimums set by the state. I would love to be able to refer some parents on our waiting list to them.

Peace,

Alida