Feel The Love

Happy Valentine's Day! We are all a buzz here because after Christmas, Valentine's Day is the kids absolute favorite day of the year. Kids have such an innate sense of love. I'm blessed that I get to work with kids and see it all the time. Kids love, love, love to help. They love to feel useful. They are very often kind and sympathetic. Last week I decided to jot down what the kids said whenever I witnessed an act of love or kindness. Here is only part of the list:

1. "Let me help you turn on the water, the faucet sticks."
2. "Oh my gosh, you are doing so well on that puzzle!"
3. "Oh no, are you okay?"
4. "I'm so sorry! I was running so fast I couldn't stop."
5. "Let me help you carry that basket of blocks, it's really heavy?"
6. "Thanks Mrs. Alida, you're the best!"
7. "Surprise! The table is all set for lunch!"
8. "I'm making a card for my brother, because he's been sick."
9. "Maybe we could all put our money together and then buy a toy we can all share."
10. "Hurry let all clean up so we can play outside."
11. "Oh thank you for the extra napkin."
12. "Mrs. Alida, did you see how well "D" is writing his letter L?"
13. "Good job!"
14. "Yay, we did a great job on these muffins!"

This is a snippet of the conversations the kids had. Yes, there were moments of frustration and even anger, but for the most part, the kids rally behind each other, encourage each other, root for each other. The anger and frustration doesn't last long and in most cases they work it out without very much intervention from me.

While I do believe that kids tend to be loving and thoughtful, I also purposefully create an atmosphere where love is at the center of most things we do. In the morning there is always classical music playing when the children arrive. In fact, throughout a good potion of the day, music is playing. At lunch we always say a prayer, eat family style and quite often we eat by candlelight. All this sets the tone for reverence and appreciation of the many blessing we enjoy. Where there is true appreciation, love abounds.

I think I may make a habit of jotting down all the wonderful things that are said throughout the day. It really keeps me aware of how wonderful children are and how grateful I am to share my day with them.

Santa Baby

The excitement of the Christmas season is palpable in young children. Unfortunately, the stress of parents can also be palpable. This holiday season I invite you to sit back for a moment and consider the realities of the season and to make a leap of faith that this year it will be truly memorable and magical, the kind of Christmas that every child deserves.

Let’s start with a simple Christmas task. Make a list and check it twice. What and who is on your holiday gift list this year? Is your six year old asking for an I-pad? Have the number of people on the list grown exponentially through the years? Will buying everything on your list for everyone on your list leave you in debt until next Christmas or beyond?

Parents so often express disbelief when their children rip through the packaging on Christmas morning only to complain a few minutes later that they are bored or worse, they play with the boxes, not the toys that came in them! Yet, year after year, we do the same thing expecting different results. Isn’t that the definition of insanity according to Einstein? So this year instead of expecting different, let’s do different. This year make the holidays really meaningful by scaling back, relaxing and enjoying the time we spend with our loved ones.

Change one thing this year. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

1. 1. Instead of going shopping one night, stay in and bake cookies with your kids.

   2. Instead of buying another plastic, noisy toy, make a toy for your child.

   (Check these out. If you don’t sew, try this or this and throw it in a Christmas Gift Bag.)

   3. Think outside of Target or mall stores and give your kids something really great!

   (I got my kids plastic pipes from the hardware store. They played with them ALL summer long, just add water)

   4. Forgo gifts and have everyone over for Christmas Dinner or cook for someone who can’t.

   5. Consider a donation in someone’s name.

   6. Buy a memory, instead of a toy. (Tickets to the Nutcracker Ballet, a weekend camping, a day off school to spend at the aquarium, museum or painting with your child or significant other.)

   7. Open only one gift on Christmas day. Stretch the gift giving until the 6^th of January (Three Kings Day.) Each day the gift gets smaller, such as favorite card game, a candy bar, coins from different countries.

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See how it feels to do one little thing differently, but consciously. Give yourself and your kids credit. You’ll be surprised that their excitement won’t diminish because the gifts are small or there are less of them or they are handmade. Children delight in the change of routine, the staying up late and drinking hot cocoa. They delight in the stories, in the family. They delight in knowing that this handmade gift is one of a kind, no one else will have one. Christmas is not about shopping or checking off a to do list, it’s about coming together in the spirit of rebirth and celebration. Children intrinsically get it. We adults should let them enjoy it, without spoiling it for them with our worries or expectations.

Merry Christmas to you and yours and may the peace of a newborn baby forever live in your heart.

Alida

The Science of Art or The Art of Science

The after school program has been bustling lately. We have two weeks of a subject, so we can get into the nitty gritty of things and really explore without too many time restrictions. The weeks usually overlap each other. For instance, we did art for two weeks. We explored how moods can be interpreted through art. We then turned our attention to the weather and how that could be interpreted through art. We moved on from art to science. We explored clouds and weather patterns. Then we moved into flowers. Now we are working on art and science. We are doing scientific illustrations of flowers in our Science Journals. Next week is a one week program on spring and Easter. We are studying the colors of nature and how to showcase those colors in our art work. I'm loving it, but even better, the kids are really enjoying themselves.


I love these pictures. The weather or time of day is depicted through the use of water colors. This little girl usually uses lots of bright colors. Her pictures always have names like "Rainbow Unicorn Glitter!" (The exclamation mark is a must.) For this picture she explored using more somber colors. I don't remember the exact name (It's on the back of her painting) but it too was toned down. It was something along the lines of "Seagulls in a Storm."


The colors of these watercolors are much more vivid in real life. This one below has quite a bit of pink in it. The young artist told me she was depicting Spring. ("See the flowers?" she said.) She also feels love blooms in Spring. We been watching the birds busily getting their nests ready. The kids say it's because soon they will be getting married and having babies. This girl wanted to convey all that in her painting. She named it, "Love is in the Air."



This young man worked very diligently at getting his colors just right. He drew his house with precision and cut it out very carefully. I love to see the individual personalities come through as they work. He named his art "House at Sunset."


I was surprise by how much work this next boy put into his art project. He is not one to really enjoy painting or any project that may lead to getting messy. He was so into this project. He really did a great job choosing the paper for his castle and putting it all together. He named his, "Sandcastle in a Storm." We even talked about what his picture would look like after the storm. He said, "Well, the sandcastle won't be there, that's for sure!"



Luckily for us daffodils are blooming all over our garden. We used them for our flower studies. We picked them, we dissected them. We viewed them under a microscope. We took some pollen from some cut lilies I had and viewed that under the microscope too. We put the daffodils in water with blue food coloring and watched as the petals got some green spots on them. The kids spread themselves out all over the class to work on their journal entries. This girl wanted to make a poster. I'm so lucky to have the dollar down the street. Poster boards are two for a dollar, so I always have some on hand.

Picky Eaters

I know this doesn't pertain to most parents, (I'm being sarcastic) but today I'm going to address the segment of the picky eater population. I'm an expert in this field. I was a picky eater, I have a son who is a picky eater. There are three secrets to get your picky eater to eat healthy.

1. Have only healthy food at home.

2. Model eating healthy food

3. Relax, your child won't starve.

Do those three things seem drastic? Be honest. If they seem drastic it's time to take a step away from worrying about your child and look at your lifestyle. Why is there junk food in your house? Is it something you buy because you are in the habit of buying the same thing without thinking about it? Is it a matter of finances? Junk food is cheaper at the moment, but so much more expensive in the long run. Do you find buying things like pizza, boxed Macaroni and Cheese, hot dogs and ice cream because it will ensure that your child will eat?

As parents we sometimes have to make difficult choices for the good of our kids, but even more importantly we should be making good choices for our benefit. We need to be healthy in order to be the best parents we can be. Wouldn't it be wonderful to wake up full of energy and be able to fully engage with our children throughout the day? Wouldn't it be wonderful to not worry about EATING but instead concern ourselves with nutrition? Are you ready? It's not going to be easy but it's going to be so worth it for you and your children!

• 1. Sit down and write down your regular shopping list. Now look at it! What is it that you've written down? Ready to eat, microwavable items or whole, colorful, fresh foods?
  

If you wrote down mostly whole, colorful, fresh foods you probably don't need to read the rest of this. If you wrote down mostly ready to eat stuff, go on to number 2.

• 2. Rewrite your list and this time include mostly whole, colorful, fresh food. The best place is your local farmer's market, but if you are busy, don't put off buying healthy food until you can make a special trip to the farmer's market. You can buy fruits and veggies at the grocery store.

So now your child is whining because he's hungry and there are no chips, now what? The best way to deal with any whining is to acknowledge the issue, offer ONE alternative and then tell the child you will ignore any more whining, because there is nothing else you can do. This is not easy! As parents we are the problem solvers, but it's a good thing to let kids realize that you cannot solve every problem. You can follow this model:

Child: "I waaant a cookie! I'm huuuunnnngry."
Parent: "Oh honey, we are all out of cookies. You can have some sliced apples with peanut butter. That's yummy."
Child: "NOOOO!"
Parent: "Okay, sweetie. Now no more whining. I have nothing else for you to eat at the moment."
Child: "But I'm hungry."
Parent: (sings softly while ignoring the whining.)

Understand that many food issues are easier to handle if you establish set eating times and you model healthy eating yourself. Also remember that very young children do not get choices when it comes to food. You do not ask a child what he wants for breakfast, lunch, snack or dinner! You are the parent you decide. As your children get older, they may choose a snack or in my case, because I am not an early riser on the weekends, my kids can choose and get their own breakfast on Saturday morning. They know they have several things to choose from such as, yogurt, granola, any fruit available, toast with peanut butter and honey, milk or juice. I'm still not comfortable with them using the stove without supervision, so no pancakes or omelets.

• 3. Model healthy eating. Have set eating times and make sure you give yourself time to prepare the meal. Have your child help you. Sit down and enjoy. Serve cut up oranges or strawberries for dessert. Introduce prunes...which really are as sweet as any candy. Talk about all the energy and nutrients this wonderful meal will provide for your body to grow strong and healthy. You may not think they don't understand or care, but you would be wrong. Kids are born to thrive and unless taught otherwise, it's ingrained in them to want to thrive.

• 4. Relax. Your child will not starve. If you particularly worry, like I do, give them a multi-vitamin. While not a substitute for a good meal, it's helps keep parental worries at bay. Know that not unlike adults, your kids will go through phases. Sometimes my son cannot get enough strawberries. I can seriously but five pounds and they'll be gone by dinner. Of course we all pitch in and eat, but he devours them. Then all of sudden, he doesn't like the way the seeds feel on his tongue and he won't even look at them! That's fine, we always have bananas, or mangoes, or apples, or oranges.

• 5. Be patient. Children have way more taste buds than adults do. So don't fret if your child can't stand the taste of tuna or celery. There are a lot of healthy options. Remember that many children are sensitive to textures. Introduce new foods slowly, without hoopla. Just serve it in pretty and appetizing way. Bring out the pretty platters and dishes. Let your child see you taste it. Moan and say, "Oooooh, that's yummy."
  

What about treats? You got to have treats! If you must have sugary foods (and I must). Make them yourself whenever possible. This creates wonderful scenarios. First, baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies with your child creates wonderful memories. It teaches your child skills, such as reading, chemistry and math. (can you say FRACTIONS?) It also helps the child connect with the food he eats. You should be conscious of how much work it takes to make something delicious. Children gain a great feeling of satisfaction. "Look what I made." Greater still, it takes work to bake cookies, so you are not going to do it everyday. This is a great way to keep the less healthy choices at bay. Around here we make a big batch of dough and then I freeze it. Sometimes for a whole week we'll have one cookie after dinner. I scoop out four tablespoons and bake those. When the kids ask for more (which of course they always do.) I can honestly say, I'm sorry we are all out of cookies.

I hear you screaming at me through the screen, "What about time? I don't have time to prepare fresh food!" I hear you. I work and home school and there is nothing worse than realizing it's 6:00 PM and everything is frozen. It's not easy, but planning is essential. Once you get in the habit of planning, it gets easier and easier. Meals don't have to be fancy, in fact, the best meals are often simple. If you have a menu, you can bring out your frozen stuff and put it in the fridge two day ahead of schedule. So if you are have steak tacos on Thursday, bring the steak down into the fridge on Tuesday. Prepare a pasta dish ahead of time and freeze it. Then just stick it in the oven and serve. Bean soups are wonderful, especially if you add lots of veggies and it freezes well too. Just heat and serve with a nice hearty slice of 10-grain bread and it's a complete meal.

Conscious living and conscious parenting takes time, but it is so worth it. This is the only shot you get at making your life meaningful. Shouldn't you take the time today to make it so? Put away all your excuses and really look at your diet and that of your child. It reflects so much more than food choices. Let me know if you need some healthy ideas for snacks and meals. I'd be happy to share them!

The Value of Play

An astonishing forty percent of elementary schools in the United States have now cut recess altogether. Fifty percent have cut gym. The implications of such measures may lead to some dire results. Most articles that debate the issue focus on the physical implications. They point to the increase in obesity and the propensity for an increase in diabetes and other health related issues. This is extremely important but only one consequence of prohibiting non-structure play in the developing child. Some articles may branch out and point to an increase in academic scores for children who participate in recess. This too while important is a limited version of the benefits of play.

Playing as defined by Merriam-Webster is : : recreational activity; especially : the spontaneous activity of children. A web definition describes play as: engage in recreational activities rather than work; occupy oneself in a diversion.

For anyone who has worked closely with children and who as an adult enjoys playing these definitions fall a bit short from the mark. I personally like my friend Pam's definition. Pam defines play as joyful learning! Now we are getting somewhere. Play is the foundation of learning. It is not only crucial for our physical and cognitive health, it is essential for our very survival. It is also not just for children! Play is the foundation of all learning. I need to stress this again because through play we learn about ourselves, our world and others. We learn social rules and norms. We learn how things work, what doesn't. We learn about patterns, sequences, growth, nature and science. We learn about our emotions and how to appropriately deal with them.

It is unfortunate that much of what we know of play came about through a tragedy. In 1966, Charles Whitman, a seemly normal and even pleasant individual went up to a tower at Texas University and shot 17 people dead and wounded 47 others. The governor of Texas put together a team of experts to investigate what could possible lead a person to commit such a heinous crime. Among the experts was Dr. Stuart Brown, a psychiatrist at Baylor University College of Medicine. May factors were found to contribute to Mr. Whitman's actions but one of the glaring conclusions of the panel was stated as follows:

A lifelong lack of play deprived him of opportunities to view life with optimism, test alternatives, or learn the social skills that, as part of spontaneous play, prepare individuals to cope with life stress. The committee concluded that lack of play was a key factor in Whitman's homicidal actions – if he had experienced regular moments of spontaneous play during his life, they believed he would have developed the skill, flexibility, and strength to cope with the stressful situations without violence.

The key word in the statement above is "spontaneous play." Mr. Whitman was a bright child with an above average I.Q. He was an Eagle Scout, an altar boy, he played baseball in high school yet he was deprived of "spontaneous play" with dire results. Dr. Stuart Brown found these results so fascinating he went on to create The National Institute for Play. In a study using mice, the mice were divided into two groups. One group was allowed to play normally while one group was deprived of the opportunity to play. A cat scent was introduced into the cage and all the mice did as they should. They ran and hid! Eventually the mice who were allowed natural and spontaneous play time started to sniff their surrounding and came out of hiding. The play deprived group starved to death because they never came out. When autopsies were conducted, the play deprived mice were found to have much smaller brains. It seems the play is essential for survival.

"The opposite of play is not work, it's depression." ~Brian Sutton Smith~

Play and learning are naturally intertwined. A child squeezing play-doh is hard at play, but also hard at work and learning. Squeezing play doh develops the muscle between your thumb and your pointer finger which is a precursor to holding a pencil, which in turn leads to writing etc. While playing we are allowed to work out emotional issues. Has your child ever played school after coming home? You can pretty much determine by the type of play if it was a good day or a bad day. Through play children try on adult roles, work out problems. Play gives children and adults an opportunity to release the pressure of a work or school day. Through play we relax, sometimes we find inspiration or just let the time melt away. I know that come spring I can spend three or more hours in my garden and I'm always shocked because it literally feels like I've only been out there a few minutes. Although I rarely describe my gardening as play, it's truly what I'm doing. I'm playing in the garden. I have a sense of purpose when I'm gardening. Sometimes I work out problems dealing with the lack of sunlight. I usually lose track of the time. I find myself lost in sheer joy. I've learned more from being in my garden than from any gardening book. The garden provides me the opportunity to test things I've read and see if they work. All these things are part of playing which are also part of learning. Best of all, when I'm done, I'm physically tired, emotionally refreshed and all around happier.

On my next post I'll be listing the types of play and give some suggestions for providing opportunities for playing with your children.

Until then,

Go out and play!

Alida

Spring Equinox

You would hardly know that spring has arrived except for the beauty of the daffodils. Daffodils always manage to cheer me up just in the nick of time. The bright yellow smiling faces of the Daffodils stand in for the much awaited sunshine that's not quite ready to make it appearance. Today we begin our Spring celebration. Somehow children make each season so special. As spring arrives, I realize how much the children have grown and changed. I see what special friendships they've forged and I am reminded daily how exciting learning can be.

For the next two weeks we will be learning about spring and more specifically the weather. I'm hoping for enough dry weather to go out with the kids and dig up our garden. This weekend I'll be picking up seeds for our pizza vegetable garden. I'm picking up tomato, bell pepper, zucchini, onion, and garlic seeds and bulbs. I can't wait and I can feel how excited the kids are.

Today we are working on a play. Each child has a part to play. One is the sun, one is rain, one child is the wind, one is the seeds. Each child works on the props for his or her part. I read the verse and the each child acts out his/her part.

A Seed Needs

I see you are a seed,
Tell me what do you need,
I need some soil to grow,
And then the sun to glow,
Water to make me wet,
Air for my leaves to get,
Space for my roots to spread,
Now I'm a plant.

Iram Khan

Everyone is looking forward to the play, but especially to warmer weather, sunnier days and lots of outdoor activities.