"Time is of the Essence." This is a legal term that states if whatever needs to be done is not done within a specified time the contract will be breached. Lately, in the education realm this has begun to mean that a child who does not grasp something cognitively by a certain age will be behind his peers (and the less often stated consequence; he will NEVER catch up). I'm all for having children exposed to things and all for early learning but I don't buy into this whole time is of the essence scenario when it comes to learning.
I don't care where the child is cognitively when he comes into our program. I meet that child where ever he is and we go from there. It's that simple. I know there have been studies done where children who have been isolated for many years never learn language, but let's be realistic. Those cases are rare and it's not something I deal with and I'll venture to say that most people in education don't deal with this type of scenario. We deal with more run of the mill scenarios. Kindergarten kids who don't recognize the letters, who have no concept of counting, who can't write their name, who haven't cracked the reading code.
In my profession when a child like this comes into a program what I usually hear are very negative comments. "Their parents never read to them." "They (the parents) haven't taught them anything." "He just does not get it." Sometimes it goes on and on...blame, blame, blame. I see this scenario all to often and at times I've been guilty of this type of blaming myself. The more I learn about child development, the less I engage in this type of thinking.
I believe learning is done more easily in a supportive environment, however a supportive environment is not necessary for learning. As long as there is nothing purposely impeding or jeopardizing the process, children are learning all the time.
My goal is to provide an environment where learning is expected and encouraged, regardless of where the children are or where they come from. If a child come to me at age 6 and cannot write, it does not mean he has failed to learn. This child may well have learned a great many things and he may well be poised to learn to write. If a child is struggling with reading it does not necessarily mean their parents don't read to them (I read to mine ALL the time and she struggled to take that first reading step), it may mean that they have been preparing this whole time and will soon begin reading.
When children are learning to walk they embark on a process that takes time. They stand and fall. They take a step and fall. They take two steps and fall. We don't write them off. We don't say, "Oh no, he is 14 months, at this rate he'll never learn to walk!" We don't see a child struggling to walk and pass judgement on the parents. We don't automatically assume the parent is too busy or too lazy to teach the child. We have faith, that the child will learn to walk.
In Raising Lifelong Learners, Lucy Calkins writes:
"We expect babies to join in by approximating conversation. When babies talk, we respond as if whatever they say makes sense. "Baa Baa," our child says, reaching with outstretched arms toward the banana on top of the refrigerator. We don't worry that the child will fixate on bad habits, that she'll say "baa baa" instead of banana for the rest of her life. We don't say, "Shh, Don't talk until you know the right word."...Instead we see what she is trying to say, and we produce the fruit for her. "Banana? You want the banana?" we say cheerfully. "Here you go" And so our children learn to talk. They learn to talk without workbooks, homework lessons, curriculum guides, tests or assignments."
If we watch a child when he is learning to walk we realize what is necessary for learning. First, look at the environment. A child who is learning to walk needs room. Ideally he has things he can hold on to. An adults hand or a coffee table, something to pull himself up on. He needs time to practice. Get up, fall down. Up, down. It's awesome if he has some encouragement. "Come to mama. You can do it."
So too with reading. Are books available? Is the child given time to practice (allowed to peruse books at his leisure)? He is being encouraged? When the child reads to you by telling you what is happening in the pictures, do you say, "What a great story." or do you say, "You're not really reading you're just looking at the pictures." The first comment is encouraging, the second is deflating. When teaching a child to write, Lucy Calkins has this to say:
"How can we teach our children to write? This is a question not only about writing but also about teaching. Teaching is always a mystery. It is never exactly clear how one person can teach another. Randy Bromer, my colleague at Teachers College, points out that this is especially true if we are teaching someone to do something. We cannot really "give' a child the ability to talk, swim, sing or to write because ultimately it is the other person (in this instance, the child) who must do the talking, swimming, singing or writing. In the end, our influence will inevitably be indirect. So it is with writing; all we can do is to create the conditions in which children can learn to write."
In our program it is more important for me to know where the child is and to provide an environment that is conducive to support learning than it is to place blame. I work with the parents to encourage them to provide an ideal environment for their children that nurtures learning. I encourage parents to have faith that even if their children are not on par with their peers at the moment, that all hope is not lost. Learning is a lifelong endeavor. I remind them that Helen Keller had been written off by many, except by Anne Sullivan.
There is much we can do to help our children not only learn but to become passionate lifelong learners. Meeting them where they are is simply the first step.
Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
A Coffee Gangster and A Child Change My World
I remember the day clearly. My son was 18 months old and picking through the toys in the toy box we kept in the living room. My daughter was just a few weeks old and I sat on the couch nursing her. I was watching General Hospital because I was bored. The boredom that a stay-at-home mother feels on occasion should not be underestimated. I loved my kids more than I can possibly explain, but day after day of rhymes, fingerplays and working on easy puzzles can grow old quick! Even though General Hospital wasn't really taking away the boredom, at least the adults on the screen were speaking in full sentence and that was definitely something!
The scene was with Sonny Corinthos and he, being the coffee gangster that he was, was holding a gun to someone's head. Truly cheesier scripts have never been written and I was actually smiling at the absurdity of the whole premise. Then I glanced over at my boy. He was holding a toy, but his attention was on the screen. He was engrossed. I was amused. Then I looked at the screen and I did something I started doing simply to stave off the boredom, I tried to view things from his perspective, using the little knowledge I assumed he had. It struck me like a lightening bolt!
Here is this little guy, not yet two. He's learned so much but still had so much to learn. He could not yet know what was real and what was make believe. He did not yet understand the nuances of our language. This child (as are all children) was literal. What he was watching was a very unpleasant scene where a man was threatening someone with a gun and he was soaking it all up like a sponge. Is this one of the first scenes I wanted my child to witness? If it was real would I try to shield it from him? The answers came flooding in. If this was really happening I would be horrified that my son was a witness to it, yet to him IT WAS really happening and HE WAS witnessing it!
Needless to say that was the end of my General Hospital viewing. I developed a distaste for it so great that to this day I can't watch it. That wasn't the only thing that changed that day. Viewing the world the way my kids see it has been fascinating. It's been a blessing and sometimes a curse. I see wonder and beauty and sometimes I see hatred and sadness. I see potential in the simplest things and I see horror in the actions of men. To say that my children have opened my eyes is an understatement.
So I challenge you to take a moment, this moment to look at your child and try to see the world from their perspective, their view with their experience. What do you see? Do you see the gum stuck to the underside of a park bench? Do you see how high the top of that slide is? Do you see the concern in their frown when they watch yet another murder on T.V.? Do you see the wonder when they find a mushroom and learn it's name?
Will viewing the world through your child's eyes change the way you see things? Will it change the things you do or say? Can you put yourself in that place? I want to hear from you.
The scene was with Sonny Corinthos and he, being the coffee gangster that he was, was holding a gun to someone's head. Truly cheesier scripts have never been written and I was actually smiling at the absurdity of the whole premise. Then I glanced over at my boy. He was holding a toy, but his attention was on the screen. He was engrossed. I was amused. Then I looked at the screen and I did something I started doing simply to stave off the boredom, I tried to view things from his perspective, using the little knowledge I assumed he had. It struck me like a lightening bolt!
Here is this little guy, not yet two. He's learned so much but still had so much to learn. He could not yet know what was real and what was make believe. He did not yet understand the nuances of our language. This child (as are all children) was literal. What he was watching was a very unpleasant scene where a man was threatening someone with a gun and he was soaking it all up like a sponge. Is this one of the first scenes I wanted my child to witness? If it was real would I try to shield it from him? The answers came flooding in. If this was really happening I would be horrified that my son was a witness to it, yet to him IT WAS really happening and HE WAS witnessing it!
Needless to say that was the end of my General Hospital viewing. I developed a distaste for it so great that to this day I can't watch it. That wasn't the only thing that changed that day. Viewing the world the way my kids see it has been fascinating. It's been a blessing and sometimes a curse. I see wonder and beauty and sometimes I see hatred and sadness. I see potential in the simplest things and I see horror in the actions of men. To say that my children have opened my eyes is an understatement.
So I challenge you to take a moment, this moment to look at your child and try to see the world from their perspective, their view with their experience. What do you see? Do you see the gum stuck to the underside of a park bench? Do you see how high the top of that slide is? Do you see the concern in their frown when they watch yet another murder on T.V.? Do you see the wonder when they find a mushroom and learn it's name?
Will viewing the world through your child's eyes change the way you see things? Will it change the things you do or say? Can you put yourself in that place? I want to hear from you.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
What a Phony!
Have you ever felt like a phony, a fake, a fraud? It's as if you are at work and then suddenly someone will walk in and point to you and say, "What's she doing here? She's not qualified, capable, educated!" This is especially true if you starting a new endeavor. Do you think any of the Presidents ever felt that way? I bet at least some of them have. I once saw an interview with Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman and Julianne Moore and all three of them admitted that every time they take on a new project, they feel completely incompetent and the fear that they will be called out as frauds. WOW!
If we persist however, slowly we grow into our new roles. Whether we are new parents concerned that we are in over our heads, (I remember when my son was just two weeks old, I broke down and in between tears and sobs, I confessed to my husband that I didn't think I was capable of raising a child for 18 years!) or we have a new position at work or we are working our way through a new creative endeavor, slowly we find our rhythm and start to feel a new level of confidence and competence.
So it goes with children and learning. Can you image a director telling Ms. Streep that she's not really acting? Or someone telling Bill Gates, that without a college degree he can't possibly be a billionaire? So let's never tell a child who brings us their scribbles that they can't write. Or tell a child that the story they are telling us is not what is written on the page. Kids need to grow into their roles as readers and writers. If we support them through the process, like a great director, soon they will blossom into their roles.
"I see education as creating in our classrooms the kind of world we believe in, and then inviting children to role-play their way into being the learners we want them to be."~Jerry Harste~
If we persist however, slowly we grow into our new roles. Whether we are new parents concerned that we are in over our heads, (I remember when my son was just two weeks old, I broke down and in between tears and sobs, I confessed to my husband that I didn't think I was capable of raising a child for 18 years!) or we have a new position at work or we are working our way through a new creative endeavor, slowly we find our rhythm and start to feel a new level of confidence and competence.
So it goes with children and learning. Can you image a director telling Ms. Streep that she's not really acting? Or someone telling Bill Gates, that without a college degree he can't possibly be a billionaire? So let's never tell a child who brings us their scribbles that they can't write. Or tell a child that the story they are telling us is not what is written on the page. Kids need to grow into their roles as readers and writers. If we support them through the process, like a great director, soon they will blossom into their roles.
"I see education as creating in our classrooms the kind of world we believe in, and then inviting children to role-play their way into being the learners we want them to be."~Jerry Harste~
Friday, March 2, 2012
You're Doing Fine
Parenting is not a job for wimps. Before I had children, I was a strong confident woman that could answer any question. In fact, shortly after my husband and I met, we spent one of our dates sitting around his kitchen table asking each other questions out of The Little Book Of Questions. I answered every question without hesitation. He took more time and sometimes said he just didn't know what he'd do...he was already a father. Things that seem simple and black and white take on new gravity when you become a parent. Add to it, all the advice of experts and you really start to second guess yourself. You may mention that you co-sleep to a dear friend and she'll warn you about the danger of smothering your child. You may say you rather sleep in your own bed and you'll be lectured on the benefits of attachment parenting.
The truth of the matter is that you a doing fine. In fact, the more simply you live your life, the better you are probably doing. Do you let your kids have plenty of opportunities for unstructured play? Great! Do you balance it out with maybe one extra-curricular activity (if they are six or older) during the week? Great! Do you enjoy your kids and feel relaxed when you are around them? Great! Do you read to them...even if they are school-aged? Awesome!
You are doing great!
What if you feel you are not doing great? You may feel that you are not doing enough. The problems begin when you start to worry. Does you infant seem distracted when you put flashcards in front of him? Put the flashcards away and engage him in a game of peek-a-boo. Is your child so over scheduled that he often sleeps in the car or bus while traveling to an activity? Stop the activity. Is your child obsessed with video games? Get rid of them! If you are worried about how your child is measuring up, stop, take a deep breath and read on...
I'm talking here about worry in general. There is a difference between that and a genuine concern in particular. If you have a genuine concern, seek out professional help and educate yourself as fully as possible with whatever it is that concerns you. If you have a general worry that your child "doesn't have an edge," or "he's not on par with his peers," or "he's never going to succeed at this rate," then the problem doesn't lie with your child, it lies with you. If you are cranky and running yourself ragged so your 4 year old can take music and karate, in addition to preschool. Stop!
I'm about to make a radical suggestion. If the above sounds like you, take a one month break! For the period of one month cease all or as many activities as you can. If you are working and your child must go to daycare, then just do that for one month. I'm talking about no t.v., no video games, no extra-curricular activities. Nothing but time with your child. For the first week, you are both going to be a little stir crazy. Your child will want to be entertained. You will feel that this is more difficult than running around. This is the time to establish a rhythm, if you haven't already done so. Be strict about your child's bedtime routine.
Now at the end of the month you may notice some changes in both you and your child. Your child's creativity will flourish. His ability to entertain himself will have increased. You will realize that play dough is not as messy as you imagined. You will learn that cleaning up watercolor spills are easier than running all over town with a tired child in tow. You will both be more relaxed and there will be more laughter and fun in your home. In raising your children always keep in mind this quote from Henry David Thoreau:
Blessings,
Alida
The truth of the matter is that you a doing fine. In fact, the more simply you live your life, the better you are probably doing. Do you let your kids have plenty of opportunities for unstructured play? Great! Do you balance it out with maybe one extra-curricular activity (if they are six or older) during the week? Great! Do you enjoy your kids and feel relaxed when you are around them? Great! Do you read to them...even if they are school-aged? Awesome!
You are doing great!
What if you feel you are not doing great? You may feel that you are not doing enough. The problems begin when you start to worry. Does you infant seem distracted when you put flashcards in front of him? Put the flashcards away and engage him in a game of peek-a-boo. Is your child so over scheduled that he often sleeps in the car or bus while traveling to an activity? Stop the activity. Is your child obsessed with video games? Get rid of them! If you are worried about how your child is measuring up, stop, take a deep breath and read on...
I'm talking here about worry in general. There is a difference between that and a genuine concern in particular. If you have a genuine concern, seek out professional help and educate yourself as fully as possible with whatever it is that concerns you. If you have a general worry that your child "doesn't have an edge," or "he's not on par with his peers," or "he's never going to succeed at this rate," then the problem doesn't lie with your child, it lies with you. If you are cranky and running yourself ragged so your 4 year old can take music and karate, in addition to preschool. Stop!
I'm about to make a radical suggestion. If the above sounds like you, take a one month break! For the period of one month cease all or as many activities as you can. If you are working and your child must go to daycare, then just do that for one month. I'm talking about no t.v., no video games, no extra-curricular activities. Nothing but time with your child. For the first week, you are both going to be a little stir crazy. Your child will want to be entertained. You will feel that this is more difficult than running around. This is the time to establish a rhythm, if you haven't already done so. Be strict about your child's bedtime routine.
Now at the end of the month you may notice some changes in both you and your child. Your child's creativity will flourish. His ability to entertain himself will have increased. You will realize that play dough is not as messy as you imagined. You will learn that cleaning up watercolor spills are easier than running all over town with a tired child in tow. You will both be more relaxed and there will be more laughter and fun in your home. In raising your children always keep in mind this quote from Henry David Thoreau:
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.”
Blessings,
Alida
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
The Lies They Tell #1
You are going to hear all kinds of lies throughout your parenting journey. The people telling you these lies are not liars per se. They are usually well intentioned human beings who genuinely have the best interest of your child in mind, but they lie just the same. They sometimes don't even realize they are lying. They are simply passing along lies that they were told or heard at a conference or in-service. Among the most blatant and common lie is:
"If your child has not mastered reading by the time he is (insert random age here) he will be behind his peers and will probably never catch up!"
Don't you believe this for one minute! You are a good parent and deep down in your heart you know better. You know that children develop at different rates. That they have different interests and different skills at any age. If you child is not reading by age 5, 6 or 9, but you are reading to them, exposing them to books, exposing them to language, your child will read at some point barring any severe retardation and even then I would be hesitant to say that the child will never read. Blind children, deaf children, children with down syndrome learn to read, why wouldn't your child? Helen Keller learn to read. Frederick Douglass was born a slave and he, like many slaves, learned to read. My father's cousin was illiterate until the age of 10, he went on to become one of the top orthopedic surgeons in his country. My own father arrived in the United States at the age of 39, with a sixth grade education. He learned to read, write and speak English. These are just a few examples, but history is rife with many more. So if your child can't read at six, don't fret and don't, not for one minute, believe that your child will never catch up, of course he will.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Quality vs Quantity
What exactly is quality time? Twenty years ago when I started out in child care "quality time" were the buzz words in the industry. We told parents that as long as they spent "quality time" with their kids, everything would be okay. Better to spend a half hour completely focused then all day taking care of other things while your child tagged along virtually ignored. I bought it! I actually believed it was true. I don't believe it anymore. Let me explain.
Quality time is certainly very important especially if you are a working parent. This much is true. However quantity is also very important. Even when we are not completely focused on our children, they are learning from us and this can be a very good thing. Parents understand the importance of getting things like the dishes or laundry done and let's be honest, sitting for hours on the floor with your toddler can get very boring. No need to feel guilty if you are not entirely engaged 100% of the time. As we go about our day, our children are learning and emulating us. If you are doing dishes, give your little ones the Tupperware in a bin and let them wipe them down. Water is completely optional. If you are baking, give you child a small piece of dough and let them knead along with you. You need not be "engaged," you don't even need to talk, just being together teaches your child about life. He learns to entertain himself, he learns what it takes to run a home. He learns that mom or dad have responsibilities beyond them. (although, honestly that last one doesn't really kick in until he is way, way older.)
Yes, you should spend time focused on your child, give them your attention, your smiles, hugs and kisses. You should sit with them at meal times and teach them that there is reverence in nourishment. These things are all important. Quantity of time is important for your child to learn what his family values. He will learn what is important, what needs to get done. Years ago my then 5 year old followed me into the bathroom and as I got down on my knees to scrub the tub he said, "You actually have to clean the bath tub?" It made me laugh, but that is how they learn, but watching us and modeling what we do. So today when people tell me that they spend a lot of "quality" time with their kids, I congratulate them. I remind however that quantity is also important.
Quality time is certainly very important especially if you are a working parent. This much is true. However quantity is also very important. Even when we are not completely focused on our children, they are learning from us and this can be a very good thing. Parents understand the importance of getting things like the dishes or laundry done and let's be honest, sitting for hours on the floor with your toddler can get very boring. No need to feel guilty if you are not entirely engaged 100% of the time. As we go about our day, our children are learning and emulating us. If you are doing dishes, give your little ones the Tupperware in a bin and let them wipe them down. Water is completely optional. If you are baking, give you child a small piece of dough and let them knead along with you. You need not be "engaged," you don't even need to talk, just being together teaches your child about life. He learns to entertain himself, he learns what it takes to run a home. He learns that mom or dad have responsibilities beyond them. (although, honestly that last one doesn't really kick in until he is way, way older.)
Yes, you should spend time focused on your child, give them your attention, your smiles, hugs and kisses. You should sit with them at meal times and teach them that there is reverence in nourishment. These things are all important. Quantity of time is important for your child to learn what his family values. He will learn what is important, what needs to get done. Years ago my then 5 year old followed me into the bathroom and as I got down on my knees to scrub the tub he said, "You actually have to clean the bath tub?" It made me laugh, but that is how they learn, but watching us and modeling what we do. So today when people tell me that they spend a lot of "quality" time with their kids, I congratulate them. I remind however that quantity is also important.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Teaching Math
If I had a nickel for every time I said, "I hate math!" I'd be a very rich woman indeed. In fact I finally, FINALLY got over my fear of math when I was shopping with my husband and we came across a %off sign. Something we wanted to buy was $69.99 and it was 25% off that price. My husband said, "So it's...(and he paused to figure it out)" I said it's about $53.00. He looked rather surprised and asked how I had figured it out so fast. So a said, "I rounded up to 70 and then did half, which is 35 and then half again which is 17, 70 minus 17 is 53." He laughed, "No, I know how, but how did you do it so fast?" I shrugged, because honestly I didn't know. I was struck because I always thought I was awful at math and percentages is math and I just realized that I was good at percentages! Slowly I started to realized that I was good at math and that in fact I didn't hate it. Math was rather fun.
When I started teaching my own kids, I never allowed them to say that they hated math or the math was hard. When ever they expressed frustration with math, I would tell them that they just needed to be more familiar with whatever it was that we were working on. Now when they come to something challenging they actually dive in and try to see it in as many different ways as they can until they feel comfortable.
So how do we teach very young kids math? I don't think we should, at least not in a traditional work sheet type of way. For young kids I love rocks. You can get a nice bag of big rocks at Dollar Tree. They love sorting the rocks. I let them become familiar with whatever manipulative (parents and teachers love that word...hehe) we are working with. So I'll set out the rocks and let them touch them, stack them, count them, play with them in anyway they choose for at least two days. Then I bring out the egg carton. Each space labeled with numbers 1 through 12. I ask them to filled each space with the "amount" of rocks that the number indicates. Language in math is important. I use the word "amount" not the word "number." A number is after all abstract. Amount is tangible. Much laughing ensues after about filling the fifth slot. "The rocks are too big!" "They don't fit." I love this next step where the kids problem solve. Very few have no concept of what to do. (It usually comes after a while or with a little prodding) Most kids will say they need smaller rocks or a bigger container.
The best way to teach math is to let children count, add, subtract, divide and multiply with their hands, through touching, sorting, filling, cutting, emptying and grouping. This makes math very real. As they get older they won't be intimidated by long division because they been doing just that!
I prefer to let children do all of the above with rocks, twigs, dolls, dishes, hot wheels etc. The more they are allowed to relate math to their surroundings the easier it will be for them to identify how math is used everyday. Baking and cooking are also excellent tools to teach math, as are knitting or crocheting. Keep it simple, keep it real.
When I started teaching my own kids, I never allowed them to say that they hated math or the math was hard. When ever they expressed frustration with math, I would tell them that they just needed to be more familiar with whatever it was that we were working on. Now when they come to something challenging they actually dive in and try to see it in as many different ways as they can until they feel comfortable.
So how do we teach very young kids math? I don't think we should, at least not in a traditional work sheet type of way. For young kids I love rocks. You can get a nice bag of big rocks at Dollar Tree. They love sorting the rocks. I let them become familiar with whatever manipulative (parents and teachers love that word...hehe) we are working with. So I'll set out the rocks and let them touch them, stack them, count them, play with them in anyway they choose for at least two days. Then I bring out the egg carton. Each space labeled with numbers 1 through 12. I ask them to filled each space with the "amount" of rocks that the number indicates. Language in math is important. I use the word "amount" not the word "number." A number is after all abstract. Amount is tangible. Much laughing ensues after about filling the fifth slot. "The rocks are too big!" "They don't fit." I love this next step where the kids problem solve. Very few have no concept of what to do. (It usually comes after a while or with a little prodding) Most kids will say they need smaller rocks or a bigger container.
The best way to teach math is to let children count, add, subtract, divide and multiply with their hands, through touching, sorting, filling, cutting, emptying and grouping. This makes math very real. As they get older they won't be intimidated by long division because they been doing just that!
I prefer to let children do all of the above with rocks, twigs, dolls, dishes, hot wheels etc. The more they are allowed to relate math to their surroundings the easier it will be for them to identify how math is used everyday. Baking and cooking are also excellent tools to teach math, as are knitting or crocheting. Keep it simple, keep it real.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Are You Ready?
Tell me your story. How did you become a parent? Did things go as planned? Are you comfortable in your role as a parent? Are you overwhelmed? Do you think you could feel better, have more fun, enjoy your children and your life, but don't quite know where to start?
Are you ready? Are you ready to make 2012 the year where you start living your life with purpose and joy? Are you ready to be the parent you know you can be? Are you ready to face the challenges with vigor and anticipation?
I'm offering five (5) one on one coaching sessions at no cost to the first five (5) parents who contact me. The coaching will take place the month of February with one session a week. Each session will be catered to the individual family situation. Each week will focus on a specific topic. By the end of the five sessions you will be able to notice a wonderful difference in the atmosphere in your home, in your attitude towards your children, and you will notice a difference in your children's attitudes.
Week 1 -- Identify the parent you want to be.
Week 2 -- Declutter your environment.
Week 3 -- Start your Action Plan
Week 4 -- Review, Adjust and Thrive
Week 5 -- Plan for Change
The coaching will be one on one. NO ONE else will be listening in on our conversation so it's completely confidential. It can take place in person, if you are local or via a teleconference if you are from out of town. These sessions are limited to only five parents so don't delay in scheduling yours today. Go to the Contact Me page on this blog to get started. I'm so excited! I hope your ready!
Are you ready? Are you ready to make 2012 the year where you start living your life with purpose and joy? Are you ready to be the parent you know you can be? Are you ready to face the challenges with vigor and anticipation?
I'm offering five (5) one on one coaching sessions at no cost to the first five (5) parents who contact me. The coaching will take place the month of February with one session a week. Each session will be catered to the individual family situation. Each week will focus on a specific topic. By the end of the five sessions you will be able to notice a wonderful difference in the atmosphere in your home, in your attitude towards your children, and you will notice a difference in your children's attitudes.
Week 1 -- Identify the parent you want to be.
- Work to set manageable goals for you, your home and your children.
Week 2 -- Declutter your environment.
- We will work to declutter your physical environment and your also to declutter your mind of ideas or goals that are no longer working for you.
Week 3 -- Start your Action Plan
- Implement the goals and expectations from you first week. Learn how to bring your kids on board without a struggle.
Week 4 -- Review, Adjust and Thrive
- Look at what's working, what needs to be changed or challenged. Continue to grow into your role as a parent.
Week 5 -- Plan for Change
- Your child will not be a toddler or adolescent forever. Plan and guide yourself into the adult relationship you'll have with your child someday. (This is my favorite and most exciting class)
The coaching will be one on one. NO ONE else will be listening in on our conversation so it's completely confidential. It can take place in person, if you are local or via a teleconference if you are from out of town. These sessions are limited to only five parents so don't delay in scheduling yours today. Go to the Contact Me page on this blog to get started. I'm so excited! I hope your ready!
Friday, October 7, 2011
A New Life, A New World
I haven't posted recently because although we've been open and working, life has taken over every free moment of my time, literally! Meet me precious granddaughter. Audrey Elise was born October 5, 2011 at 11:13 p.m. She weighed 7 lbs 15 oz and was 21 inches long.
So when I'm not working with other wonderful children, I'm holding this precious little one. I'll be posting again soon, but some things in life are just so important that everything else, especially blogging, pales in comparison.
So when I'm not working with other wonderful children, I'm holding this precious little one. I'll be posting again soon, but some things in life are just so important that everything else, especially blogging, pales in comparison.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Playing Where Danger Lurks
As you know, we feel very strongly about the importance of play in a child's healthy development. It may come as no surprise that because this is Oregon, we play outside every time it's dry and sometimes even if it's raining. Right now we've been enjoying some pretty awesome weather and the kids have been outside most afternoons. We practice our writing skills using sidewalk chalk. We practice our math skills by chanting the multiplication tables or addition facts while tossing a catching beanbags. We skip rope, play jacks, play with a hula hoop.
Of course the kids are awesome about coming up with all types of creative play. They've made their own obstacle courses. The made an exploding volcano with mud (and vinegar and baking soda) and many of the plastic dinosaurs perished during the eruption. The play structure has been a fort, a look out post and a ship.
Yesterday, they took the jump rope and would let down the slide. One child would grab hold and two children up on the structure would pull and pull until they managed to pull the child on the bottom of the slide all the way up. They then took turns and played this way for over an hour!
At first glance, I almost put a stop to it. In my mind I could just picture all the dangers and accidents waiting to happen. After all, we are talking about school aged kids, a slide and a rope. It's a recipe for disaster. The rope burns, accidental strangulation, accidental falls from the top of the structure were all vivid in my mind's eye. Did I mention the rope has wooden handles and each time they flung it down the slide it came oh so close to taking out an eye? All these worst case scenarios where playing out in my head. Then I realized I WAS RIGHT THERE! The most serious thing that could happen was the someone would get a rope burn or get hit with the wooden handle. I stopped them for just a second and point out these dangers, reminded them to be safe and let them continue playing. I'm so glad I did.
Later they each talked about who the strongest kid was, who was the fastest coming up the slide, who did get a little rope burn and how they knew after that to let go immediately. They spoke excitedly and quickly among themselves, sharing information, deciding that that was an awesome game, making plans for improvements and they unanimously decided they would play again today.
I learned that danger lurks around every corner. I can make that the focus and try to protect kids from every possible scenario and kick myself when I miss something and they get hurt. I can choose to focus on the learning, point out the dangers, remind them to be safe and let them figure it out. I think the latter makes for better adults in the long run.
Of course the kids are awesome about coming up with all types of creative play. They've made their own obstacle courses. The made an exploding volcano with mud (and vinegar and baking soda) and many of the plastic dinosaurs perished during the eruption. The play structure has been a fort, a look out post and a ship.
Yesterday, they took the jump rope and would let down the slide. One child would grab hold and two children up on the structure would pull and pull until they managed to pull the child on the bottom of the slide all the way up. They then took turns and played this way for over an hour!
At first glance, I almost put a stop to it. In my mind I could just picture all the dangers and accidents waiting to happen. After all, we are talking about school aged kids, a slide and a rope. It's a recipe for disaster. The rope burns, accidental strangulation, accidental falls from the top of the structure were all vivid in my mind's eye. Did I mention the rope has wooden handles and each time they flung it down the slide it came oh so close to taking out an eye? All these worst case scenarios where playing out in my head. Then I realized I WAS RIGHT THERE! The most serious thing that could happen was the someone would get a rope burn or get hit with the wooden handle. I stopped them for just a second and point out these dangers, reminded them to be safe and let them continue playing. I'm so glad I did.
Later they each talked about who the strongest kid was, who was the fastest coming up the slide, who did get a little rope burn and how they knew after that to let go immediately. They spoke excitedly and quickly among themselves, sharing information, deciding that that was an awesome game, making plans for improvements and they unanimously decided they would play again today.
I learned that danger lurks around every corner. I can make that the focus and try to protect kids from every possible scenario and kick myself when I miss something and they get hurt. I can choose to focus on the learning, point out the dangers, remind them to be safe and let them figure it out. I think the latter makes for better adults in the long run.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Ready or Not, Here I Come
Years ago I wrote in my personal blog a post with this same title. It was about my daughter, who was born 10 days sooner than expected. When she was a bit older would stand at her crib and shake the bars and say, "I'm ready mom!", whenever she wanted me to take her out. Some times that was before I was awake or ready myself. She was in her crib because technically she was still a baby, not quite two, and yes, she spoke in clear complete (albeit short) sentences. She didn't so much speak as EXCLAIM! Everything that child uttered had TO BE WRITTEN LIKE THIS! She was and is still a force to be reckoned with. This same child did not walk until she was 18 months old. She has just grasped a hold of reading, she's 7 1/2 years old. She has to yet conquer a bike without training wheels. She sometimes still wets the bed.
All this to say, my child is pretty much like all other children. She's ready when she's ready. Sure, I can help her. I've spent countless (COUNTLESS) hours reading to her. I've taken her and her bike to the park every dry day we've had. Her dad still wakes her and takes her to the bathroom before before he heads to bed. We do this in an effort to support and train her in habits that we hope (actually we know) will stick with her. The issue is that with all our help and support, she'll be ready when she ready. What we do won't necessarily make her do these things sooner, it will hopefully just get her doing them when she's ready. So if you are banging your head against the wall because you've been potty training forever, relax. It'll click...eventually, when you're child is ready.
Did I mention that my girl potty trained herself at 18 months? Did I mention that after a few weeks of no accidents she announced she was done with potty training and proceed to have "accidents" to the point that for my sanity I put a diaper back on her, something I was vehemently criticized for. At about 2 1/2 years she was thankfully once again done with diapers, this time for good. (Except the night thing)
So if you are feeding your child a healthy, balanced diet, if your child is getting fresh air and a balance of active and quiet times, if your child is getting 10 to 12 hours of sleep, if you read to your child, engage him, love him, then your child is ready. He is ready for anything that comes his way and he will demonstrate his readiness when he's good and ready!
All this to say, my child is pretty much like all other children. She's ready when she's ready. Sure, I can help her. I've spent countless (COUNTLESS) hours reading to her. I've taken her and her bike to the park every dry day we've had. Her dad still wakes her and takes her to the bathroom before before he heads to bed. We do this in an effort to support and train her in habits that we hope (actually we know) will stick with her. The issue is that with all our help and support, she'll be ready when she ready. What we do won't necessarily make her do these things sooner, it will hopefully just get her doing them when she's ready. So if you are banging your head against the wall because you've been potty training forever, relax. It'll click...eventually, when you're child is ready.
Did I mention that my girl potty trained herself at 18 months? Did I mention that after a few weeks of no accidents she announced she was done with potty training and proceed to have "accidents" to the point that for my sanity I put a diaper back on her, something I was vehemently criticized for. At about 2 1/2 years she was thankfully once again done with diapers, this time for good. (Except the night thing)
So if you are feeding your child a healthy, balanced diet, if your child is getting fresh air and a balance of active and quiet times, if your child is getting 10 to 12 hours of sleep, if you read to your child, engage him, love him, then your child is ready. He is ready for anything that comes his way and he will demonstrate his readiness when he's good and ready!
Monday, August 29, 2011
Parent Reform
If schools, faculty and/or their unions, if government cannot solve the myriad of issues and problems in public education, then who can? I think we can. We have to reform our thoughts about education and what having a good education means. We have to make sure education is accessible to our children and that it is accessible to us. Education has been elevated to a point where only experts have a say, even teachers are being left out of the loop. There are many things happening around the world that should outrage us, but education is something that we can tangibly influence.
We need to join forces with teachers and demand very specific changes. We need to let the government know that they will not get away with promoting policies that hinder the learning environment of our children and then blame dedicated teachers when those ridiculous policies fail. We, unlike politicians cannot afford to remain silent. We must rock the boat.
We must engage and commit to our children's education as if their very lives depended on it, because it may well be true. We can start small. A ripple that gathers momentum is all we need. Here are my suggestions:
1. Start where you are. If you are pregnant, educate yourself about your child's development. Start reading aloud to your baby. If your child is older, find out how he's doing, physically, cognitively, emotionally. Don't panic if your child is lagging in any one area. There are differences in the rates of development, but knowing where your child is will help you engage him and thrive. Make sure you are establishing good habits in your child. Healthy foods, well baby visits, fresh air. These things give your child every advantage in growing up happy and healthy.
2. Get yourself ready for school. Be an informed parent. What are your child's strengths and weaknesses? How have you helped your child in the weak areas? How are you encouraging their gifts/strengths? What help would you like from his teachers? This information should come from you. Don't wait until a teacher points out a problem. Be proactive and engaged. Speak with your child's teacher often. Become antiquated with the school staff. Join the PTA/PTO.
3. Learn to deal kindly and effectively with a difficult teacher. Do not allow yourself to be bullied by teachers, office staff or the principal. You know your child better than anyone else. Take control and be a decision maker. Speak your truth clearly, calmly and with conviction. If there is an on going problem, make sure to document EVERYTHING. Every conversation, meeting, conference should be documented. Be an advocate for your child.
I recall years ago and incident with my oldest son. He had heart surgery when he was eight and as a result of that he needed to take antibiotics before every dental appointment. I made his appointments well in advance because I also schedule one with his pediatrician, so I could get the prescription for the antibiotics. So in July, I called to schedule an appointment for August. Turns out the dentist was going to be on vacation the entire month of August, so we scheduled for mid September. The day of his appointment I dropped my son off at school at 11:00 am. I was met by a very rude and somewhat angry Vice Principal who proceeded to reprimand me for bringing my son late on a TEST DAY! We had the following exchange:
"Mrs. Chacon, are you aware the today is a TEST DAY?"
"I am."
"You have brought your son to school late!"
"I have."
"Now, he'll have to make up his test!"
"He will."
She sputtered and turned around and walked away from me. She never once showed concerned or asked why he was late. Her concern was the testing. Testing, in my book, gauges where the child is at the moment. It may or may not be indicative of any future results on the child's abilities or knowledge of a particular subject. I knew where my son what academically. I knew where he was physically and spiritually. At that moment his health was more important to me that his test scores. Knowing these things gave me the strength to stand my ground.
Knowing where you child is, where you want him to go, knowing what his strengths and weakness are will help you stand strong in your convictions and will help you be an advocate for your child. Once we start to speak out. Once we start pointing out what our children need, the changes will happen. They are starting to happen with school lunches. Next on the agenda, class sizes. Send a message to congress and the Secretary of Education that class sizes do matter. Complain clearly and loudly at PTA meeting, to school boards, to local governments, to the media, to the state government and to the federal government.
Keep in mind, that no one gave women the right to vote. Women had to demand it at a great sacrifice. One hundred years after the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation, people had to protest loudly and with great peril to demand protection of their civil rights. The difficult tasks are never voluntarily solved by government, they are solved by the concerned citizens who sometimes sacrifice life and limb to insure a better life for future generations. That is what our children are demanding of us. Let the great Parent Reform begin.
We need to join forces with teachers and demand very specific changes. We need to let the government know that they will not get away with promoting policies that hinder the learning environment of our children and then blame dedicated teachers when those ridiculous policies fail. We, unlike politicians cannot afford to remain silent. We must rock the boat.
We must engage and commit to our children's education as if their very lives depended on it, because it may well be true. We can start small. A ripple that gathers momentum is all we need. Here are my suggestions:
1. Start where you are. If you are pregnant, educate yourself about your child's development. Start reading aloud to your baby. If your child is older, find out how he's doing, physically, cognitively, emotionally. Don't panic if your child is lagging in any one area. There are differences in the rates of development, but knowing where your child is will help you engage him and thrive. Make sure you are establishing good habits in your child. Healthy foods, well baby visits, fresh air. These things give your child every advantage in growing up happy and healthy.
2. Get yourself ready for school. Be an informed parent. What are your child's strengths and weaknesses? How have you helped your child in the weak areas? How are you encouraging their gifts/strengths? What help would you like from his teachers? This information should come from you. Don't wait until a teacher points out a problem. Be proactive and engaged. Speak with your child's teacher often. Become antiquated with the school staff. Join the PTA/PTO.
3. Learn to deal kindly and effectively with a difficult teacher. Do not allow yourself to be bullied by teachers, office staff or the principal. You know your child better than anyone else. Take control and be a decision maker. Speak your truth clearly, calmly and with conviction. If there is an on going problem, make sure to document EVERYTHING. Every conversation, meeting, conference should be documented. Be an advocate for your child.
I recall years ago and incident with my oldest son. He had heart surgery when he was eight and as a result of that he needed to take antibiotics before every dental appointment. I made his appointments well in advance because I also schedule one with his pediatrician, so I could get the prescription for the antibiotics. So in July, I called to schedule an appointment for August. Turns out the dentist was going to be on vacation the entire month of August, so we scheduled for mid September. The day of his appointment I dropped my son off at school at 11:00 am. I was met by a very rude and somewhat angry Vice Principal who proceeded to reprimand me for bringing my son late on a TEST DAY! We had the following exchange:
"Mrs. Chacon, are you aware the today is a TEST DAY?"
"I am."
"You have brought your son to school late!"
"I have."
"Now, he'll have to make up his test!"
"He will."
She sputtered and turned around and walked away from me. She never once showed concerned or asked why he was late. Her concern was the testing. Testing, in my book, gauges where the child is at the moment. It may or may not be indicative of any future results on the child's abilities or knowledge of a particular subject. I knew where my son what academically. I knew where he was physically and spiritually. At that moment his health was more important to me that his test scores. Knowing these things gave me the strength to stand my ground.
Knowing where you child is, where you want him to go, knowing what his strengths and weakness are will help you stand strong in your convictions and will help you be an advocate for your child. Once we start to speak out. Once we start pointing out what our children need, the changes will happen. They are starting to happen with school lunches. Next on the agenda, class sizes. Send a message to congress and the Secretary of Education that class sizes do matter. Complain clearly and loudly at PTA meeting, to school boards, to local governments, to the media, to the state government and to the federal government.
Keep in mind, that no one gave women the right to vote. Women had to demand it at a great sacrifice. One hundred years after the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation, people had to protest loudly and with great peril to demand protection of their civil rights. The difficult tasks are never voluntarily solved by government, they are solved by the concerned citizens who sometimes sacrifice life and limb to insure a better life for future generations. That is what our children are demanding of us. Let the great Parent Reform begin.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Government Reform
Government does not trust parents to raise their children. Anyone in government would argue that this is not true, but I see it everywhere. It's not just government, it's teachers, business, therapists etc. We have a culture of professionals that know more, know better, know the answers and we the parents are left a bit flummoxed as to how to raise our kids. Government tries it's darnest to help, to close the gap between the have's and the have nots, but they fail to see many things. First, how are the have's and have nots defined? Is it strictly socioeconomic or are there other conditions factored in? WARNING: I'm about to get very honest and not at all politically correct. The government tries to help but in essence creates some unintended consequences. One of the first problems created by this atmosphere of professionals and government programs is that it undermines parents and families. I have spoken with several young unwed mothers who have very honestly told me that they live with their child's father but that there are no plans to get married because the government gives unwed mothers so much help in the form of money, free programs etc., that it doesn't financially behoove them to get married. Granted a few mother's is not a scientific study, but I bet I'm not too far off the mark in saying that government programs are hindering the creation of families and not aiding them. In trying to help young mother's get a head start the government programs are actually keeping them in poverty, both financially and spiritually, because it's hindering their pursuit of a better life. The life the government provides is "good enough", certainly too good to try a something different.
So government involvement in schools is no different. Government officials try, they try so hard to close the gap between the rich and the poor. They try to create programs that "will leave no child behind", yet instead of raising the bar across the board the programs have widen the gap and in the worst case scenarios they have lower the performance across the board. After a decade of NCLB, we still have failing schools, we still have children who do not meet standards, we have disgruntled (and rightly so) teachers and we have frustrated parents.
Government claims to have the child's best interest in mind. I don't believe it. I think even the best intentioned politician ultimately has his/her career front and center. They will try to do right by the children, but only so long as it doesn't hurt their career. They talk themselves into believing that if they lose their seat, they won't be able to help out during the next term. They remain silent because they want their voice to be heard. Unions claim to have the best interest of children in mind, and perhaps they come a little closer to the mark. They after all are the voice of the dedicated teachers that struggle to teach the lowliest among us. However, the teachers are not our children. When unions rail against change, any change because it could hindered the teacher's employment or benefits no matter how worthy the cause, it is still not a concern for our children. Teacher's themselves are stuck between a rock and a hard place. They are in the front line dealing with the children they serve, the obnoxious parents, the overbearing administration. They are in constant flux year in and year out regarding their employment, all the while concerned with the livelihood of their own families. Really it's so much that any true concern for the children is trumped by all the other things going on.
Which brings me to the parent. We are the only ones who can truly have our own children's best interest in mind, but the government can't trust us. I can't say that I can really blame them. I too often see why they feel a need to step in. I have often tried to step in myself and "help" a parent who I think is struggling. My eagerness to help is rarely met with enthusiasm or gratitude. Usually my help is met with resistance, indignation and hostility. I however, unlike the government am not offering money or free programs, so my help is usually rejected. So what is a government to do when dealing with such vast difference in attitudes, socioeconomic levels, religious differences, cultural differences etc? Well I think they can fearlessly open the gates of choice. I know that this is quite controversial. Charter schools, vouchers, online learning, private schools, public schools, special programs, continuation school, evening classes, why not just offer it all up as the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of our children. Really give parents a choice and a voice on how their children will be educated. Give parents back the responsibility of raising their kids. What will happen to schools and teachers if the flood gates of education are opened wide? You know, my concern is MY children and THEIR future. I'm sure that well educated teachers will figure it out, isn't that ultimately when a good education is useful?
Stay tuned for the next post: Parent Reform
So government involvement in schools is no different. Government officials try, they try so hard to close the gap between the rich and the poor. They try to create programs that "will leave no child behind", yet instead of raising the bar across the board the programs have widen the gap and in the worst case scenarios they have lower the performance across the board. After a decade of NCLB, we still have failing schools, we still have children who do not meet standards, we have disgruntled (and rightly so) teachers and we have frustrated parents.
Government claims to have the child's best interest in mind. I don't believe it. I think even the best intentioned politician ultimately has his/her career front and center. They will try to do right by the children, but only so long as it doesn't hurt their career. They talk themselves into believing that if they lose their seat, they won't be able to help out during the next term. They remain silent because they want their voice to be heard. Unions claim to have the best interest of children in mind, and perhaps they come a little closer to the mark. They after all are the voice of the dedicated teachers that struggle to teach the lowliest among us. However, the teachers are not our children. When unions rail against change, any change because it could hindered the teacher's employment or benefits no matter how worthy the cause, it is still not a concern for our children. Teacher's themselves are stuck between a rock and a hard place. They are in the front line dealing with the children they serve, the obnoxious parents, the overbearing administration. They are in constant flux year in and year out regarding their employment, all the while concerned with the livelihood of their own families. Really it's so much that any true concern for the children is trumped by all the other things going on.
Which brings me to the parent. We are the only ones who can truly have our own children's best interest in mind, but the government can't trust us. I can't say that I can really blame them. I too often see why they feel a need to step in. I have often tried to step in myself and "help" a parent who I think is struggling. My eagerness to help is rarely met with enthusiasm or gratitude. Usually my help is met with resistance, indignation and hostility. I however, unlike the government am not offering money or free programs, so my help is usually rejected. So what is a government to do when dealing with such vast difference in attitudes, socioeconomic levels, religious differences, cultural differences etc? Well I think they can fearlessly open the gates of choice. I know that this is quite controversial. Charter schools, vouchers, online learning, private schools, public schools, special programs, continuation school, evening classes, why not just offer it all up as the ultimate sacrifice on the altar of our children. Really give parents a choice and a voice on how their children will be educated. Give parents back the responsibility of raising their kids. What will happen to schools and teachers if the flood gates of education are opened wide? You know, my concern is MY children and THEIR future. I'm sure that well educated teachers will figure it out, isn't that ultimately when a good education is useful?
Stay tuned for the next post: Parent Reform
Saturday, August 13, 2011
My Child Can't Read or Write!
There is such a push for young children to excel academically. Of course there is nothing intrinsically wrong with wanting your child to do well, but what happens when the expectations become skewed and we start expecting more and more from younger and younger children?
The biggest push seems to be in the area of reading and writing. My four year old can write his name! A lot of parents use this line to introduce me to their child. "Oh wonderful," I say, "Now we are going to make sure that those little muscles in your little hands grow nice and strong so you can write for rest of your life!" We make those muscles strong by making sure the child has access to lots of play dough, we sew to build those fine motor skills, we knead bread for large muscle development, we color pictures big and small. Each activity helps to develop and strengthen a set a muscles that the child will need to write. As for any building project you must lay the foundation before erecting the building or your building will eventually crumble.
I also encounter wonderful parents with concerns that their 5 year old is not yet reading. There are several important things to keep in mind that are very important and will lead children to a love of reading. Isn't this the basis for reading to really gain a love of the written word?
1. Make sure that your child sees you reading. This is even more important than reading to your child! A study that was published in The Times about 8 years ago determined that children who had parents who read and who had books and reading materials at home were better readers than those who's parents rarely picked up a book. I would agree that there may be other factors involved that were not taken into consideration such as parents who read are more likely to read to their children, but what this study really brings home is that children model their parents behavior. We are our children's first and most important teacher.
2. Read to your child. It's never too early to start. Read to your child before he is born. Tell him stories, sing songs, play pat-a-cake, all these things help make neurological connections that will lead to your child's reading success.
3. Go on a sign hunt. Children as young as two or three will recognize symbols even before they learn to decipher written language. This is an important pre-reading skill. My nephew was very young and his dad worked for the corporate offices for Ralphs grocery store. As we drove by a Ford dealer my nephew pointed to the sign and said, "Daddy work!" I was a bit confused because his dad worked for Ralphs not Ford. Then I realized that both logos were ovals and the fonts used in the words were similar. He actually made such an exciting pre-reading leap! He was noticing similarities, later he would go on to notice differences such as color and letters.
4. Teach your child the letter sounds. This is more important than knowing the letter names! So often I hear that very young children know their ABC's. Usually these kids know the song, but don't recognize the letters. Knowing the song is fun, knowing the letter sounds is awesome! Ah-ah-apple, Bb- Bb-Ball. Kk-Kk-Cat and Dd-Dd-Doll, Eh-eh-egg, Ff-Ff-Fan, Gg-Gg-Goat and Hh-Hh-Hand...
5. Relax. Know sit back and relax a bit. Some children learn to read early, some children learn to read later. Unless there is a problem such as dyslexia, your child will need you to lay the foundation and be encouraging, that's it. You need to trust that they have the skills they need to read. I know schools put a huge emphasis on learning to read by a certain age or your child will FALL BEHIND! I don't agree. Some kids don't learn to read until age 8 and within a few months are reading at or beyond their grade level.
6. Be attentive. I know this seems like the opposite of relax, but it isn't. What I'm asking here is for you to be attentive to your instincts. If your gut feeling is telling you there is a problem, then the sooner you address it the better it will be for your child. However, four years is early to be concerning yourself with the fact that your child cannot read, again unless you know of some physical or psychological reason to be concerned.
7. Trust. Doing all of the above sets the foundation, now trust that your child will learn. I know I already mentioned it, but it's so important I want to remind to trust the process.
There are lots of early intervention programs and while they made have their place, most kids just need exposure and time and they will learn to read on their own. Keep in mind that experts like to make early predictions on a child's future success based on early performance indicators. I find this ludicrous and insulting. I know of many successful adults who learned to read later in life. For long list, check here. Now have fun and go relax with a good book.
The biggest push seems to be in the area of reading and writing. My four year old can write his name! A lot of parents use this line to introduce me to their child. "Oh wonderful," I say, "Now we are going to make sure that those little muscles in your little hands grow nice and strong so you can write for rest of your life!" We make those muscles strong by making sure the child has access to lots of play dough, we sew to build those fine motor skills, we knead bread for large muscle development, we color pictures big and small. Each activity helps to develop and strengthen a set a muscles that the child will need to write. As for any building project you must lay the foundation before erecting the building or your building will eventually crumble.
I also encounter wonderful parents with concerns that their 5 year old is not yet reading. There are several important things to keep in mind that are very important and will lead children to a love of reading. Isn't this the basis for reading to really gain a love of the written word?
1. Make sure that your child sees you reading. This is even more important than reading to your child! A study that was published in The Times about 8 years ago determined that children who had parents who read and who had books and reading materials at home were better readers than those who's parents rarely picked up a book. I would agree that there may be other factors involved that were not taken into consideration such as parents who read are more likely to read to their children, but what this study really brings home is that children model their parents behavior. We are our children's first and most important teacher.
2. Read to your child. It's never too early to start. Read to your child before he is born. Tell him stories, sing songs, play pat-a-cake, all these things help make neurological connections that will lead to your child's reading success.
3. Go on a sign hunt. Children as young as two or three will recognize symbols even before they learn to decipher written language. This is an important pre-reading skill. My nephew was very young and his dad worked for the corporate offices for Ralphs grocery store. As we drove by a Ford dealer my nephew pointed to the sign and said, "Daddy work!" I was a bit confused because his dad worked for Ralphs not Ford. Then I realized that both logos were ovals and the fonts used in the words were similar. He actually made such an exciting pre-reading leap! He was noticing similarities, later he would go on to notice differences such as color and letters.
4. Teach your child the letter sounds. This is more important than knowing the letter names! So often I hear that very young children know their ABC's. Usually these kids know the song, but don't recognize the letters. Knowing the song is fun, knowing the letter sounds is awesome! Ah-ah-apple, Bb- Bb-Ball. Kk-Kk-Cat and Dd-Dd-Doll, Eh-eh-egg, Ff-Ff-Fan, Gg-Gg-Goat and Hh-Hh-Hand...
5. Relax. Know sit back and relax a bit. Some children learn to read early, some children learn to read later. Unless there is a problem such as dyslexia, your child will need you to lay the foundation and be encouraging, that's it. You need to trust that they have the skills they need to read. I know schools put a huge emphasis on learning to read by a certain age or your child will FALL BEHIND! I don't agree. Some kids don't learn to read until age 8 and within a few months are reading at or beyond their grade level.
6. Be attentive. I know this seems like the opposite of relax, but it isn't. What I'm asking here is for you to be attentive to your instincts. If your gut feeling is telling you there is a problem, then the sooner you address it the better it will be for your child. However, four years is early to be concerning yourself with the fact that your child cannot read, again unless you know of some physical or psychological reason to be concerned.
7. Trust. Doing all of the above sets the foundation, now trust that your child will learn. I know I already mentioned it, but it's so important I want to remind to trust the process.
There are lots of early intervention programs and while they made have their place, most kids just need exposure and time and they will learn to read on their own. Keep in mind that experts like to make early predictions on a child's future success based on early performance indicators. I find this ludicrous and insulting. I know of many successful adults who learned to read later in life. For long list, check here. Now have fun and go relax with a good book.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Stop, Listen and Acknowledge
What is a broken toy compared to your car breaking down the morning of your big interview? What is a scraped knee compared to a loved one fighting cancer? What is the big deal of not taking your child to have ice cream as promised compared to having a credit line you were counting on revoked? We work, while our children play. We know a real heartbreak feels differently than a scraped knee...or does it? Have you ever felt guilty because you were sad over something that seemed trivial compared to the suffering of others? Did it make you feel any less sad?
It's almost easy for us to dismiss our children's fears, their concern or their sadness. Rather than dismiss these, I would urge you (and many times, myself) to stop, listen and acknowledge. When we stop and listen, we are giving the child his place in the world. We are telling them that they are worthy of our time and our attention. When we acknowledge the child's concern we are simply telling letting them know that we hear them. We don't have to agree or solve what's going on, sometimes we can't solve it. We are simply letting them know that their concern has been noted.
Learning takes place at every moment of life. There are things that no matter how school boards try to include them in the curriculum, they cannot be taught in isolation. Self-esteem is not a one semester course, inclusion cannot be isolated to a class, respect for others grows from feelings that can only be self-regulated, not teacher directed. Think of all a child learns when we simply stop, listen and acknowledge. They are learning the they are important and worthy. They model our behavior towards others. They develop a deep reverence for people's opinions and feelings even if they don't agree with them.
I've often said that the most important life lessons rarely take place in the classroom. They take place while living our lives. When we teach by example, the lessons tend to stick.
It's almost easy for us to dismiss our children's fears, their concern or their sadness. Rather than dismiss these, I would urge you (and many times, myself) to stop, listen and acknowledge. When we stop and listen, we are giving the child his place in the world. We are telling them that they are worthy of our time and our attention. When we acknowledge the child's concern we are simply telling letting them know that we hear them. We don't have to agree or solve what's going on, sometimes we can't solve it. We are simply letting them know that their concern has been noted.
Learning takes place at every moment of life. There are things that no matter how school boards try to include them in the curriculum, they cannot be taught in isolation. Self-esteem is not a one semester course, inclusion cannot be isolated to a class, respect for others grows from feelings that can only be self-regulated, not teacher directed. Think of all a child learns when we simply stop, listen and acknowledge. They are learning the they are important and worthy. They model our behavior towards others. They develop a deep reverence for people's opinions and feelings even if they don't agree with them.
I've often said that the most important life lessons rarely take place in the classroom. They take place while living our lives. When we teach by example, the lessons tend to stick.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Mother West Wind
You know when you find something you just think is awesome and you just have to shout it from the mountaintops? I've found something and since I live in a valley with only the sight of Mt. Hood, blogging about it will have to do. So a little bit about this week. It was AWESOME! The theme was Water World and finally the temperature cooperated and we actually were able to have some water fun. We also learned a great deal about the water cycle, about how essential water is to all living things (including our chickens) and about the many animals that live in water.
The weather was so nice today that we literally spent the entire day outside. We did our art projects outside, we had a picnic lunch and instead of rest time on a mat indoors, we stretched out on a blanket with the warm sun on our backs and the cool breeze in our hair, and I read to the kids. We had finished The Secret Garden yesterday and I don't like to start chapter books on Friday, so I grabbed my trusty Kindle and started reading, Why Peter Rabbit Cannot Fold His Hands. It's a wonderful story from a collection in Mother West Wind's Why Stories by Thornton W. Burgess.
The weather was so nice today that we literally spent the entire day outside. We did our art projects outside, we had a picnic lunch and instead of rest time on a mat indoors, we stretched out on a blanket with the warm sun on our backs and the cool breeze in our hair, and I read to the kids. We had finished The Secret Garden yesterday and I don't like to start chapter books on Friday, so I grabbed my trusty Kindle and started reading, Why Peter Rabbit Cannot Fold His Hands. It's a wonderful story from a collection in Mother West Wind's Why Stories by Thornton W. Burgess.
"Instead of hurrying home and getting to work himself, Mr. Rabbit stopped a while after each call and sat with his arms folded, watching the one he was calling on work. Mr. Rabbit was very fond of sitting with folded arms."
Each story begins with a question. The forest critters then go to Mr. Frog to get answers. Mr. Frog is quite old and knows a great many things. Each story has moral. I love that these stories are not like modern books that try to teach morals, books with titles like; No Hitting or Why We Shouldn't Tell Lies. Those books don't engage children they just preach to them. Children need something to think about, something to ponder. Mother West Wind's Why Stories are perfect character building stories. These stories are so wonderful that I would pay a pretty penny for them, but fortunately they are free through the Gutenberg Project. Check them out and let me know what you think.
Enjoy,
Alida
Each story begins with a question. The forest critters then go to Mr. Frog to get answers. Mr. Frog is quite old and knows a great many things. Each story has moral. I love that these stories are not like modern books that try to teach morals, books with titles like; No Hitting or Why We Shouldn't Tell Lies. Those books don't engage children they just preach to them. Children need something to think about, something to ponder. Mother West Wind's Why Stories are perfect character building stories. These stories are so wonderful that I would pay a pretty penny for them, but fortunately they are free through the Gutenberg Project. Check them out and let me know what you think.
Enjoy,
Alida
Friday, July 22, 2011
Choose Wisely
Two must haves for me when I started to home school were a book of Grimm's Fairy Tales and one of Aesop's Fables. Einstein said that if you wanted you kids to be smart, to read them fairy tales. Who am I to argue with Einstein? The problem came one day when I perused the book and found to my great horror that these fairy tales were quite grim indeed. (That pun was corny and totally intended.) Turns out the step-sisters in Cinderella cut off their heels and toes!
"...but the mother, reaching a knife, said, 'Cut off your toe, for if you are queen you need not go any longer on foot.' The the maiden cut it off, and squeezed her foot into the shoe, and, concealing the pain she felt, went down to the Prince."
These are definitely not Disney. How could we read such horrid tales to our children? In fact, fairy tales should not be read to very young children, unless you leave out the more graphic parts. This is best done, by not reading and just telling them the stories. As children get older, however, fairy tales become a wonderful way to teach all sorts of virtues and point out the consequences of vices. Fairy Tales are filled with noble, loyal and loving characters. They can teach children to be brave as they face fear, to be loyal even when it would materially behoove them to be disloyal. It teaches them to be truthful and kind. It also teaches them that evil exists. That they are consequences to one's soul if you stray from a noble path.
Children need to process these truths slowly and within a realm that they can understand. Fairy Tales are perfect for this. When you tell a story or read to a child, the child will process what he can, as opposed to a movie (especially on a big screen) where they are bombarded with imagery that can be scary, even if it's not to us adults. I remember taking my daughter to see Ratatouille. She was about four years old. There is a scene where the rats are going down a sewer pipe. The visual is fantastic from an adult perspective. The water is tumbling rapidly, you see the rat go under, you see him tumbling in the water, he briefly comes up for air and then gets dragged down again by the current. I was enjoying it tremendously when I felt a tug on my arm and I looked over at my girl. She was horrified. She had tears streaming down her cheeks and had a tight hold on my arm. Young children have no filters. She had no way to processes what she was seeing, but she could feel it with every bit of her body. What a wake up call for me.
Now at age seven, we read fairy tales and I've even started reading some of the gruesome parts, but we still don't watch very many movies.
"...but the mother, reaching a knife, said, 'Cut off your toe, for if you are queen you need not go any longer on foot.' The the maiden cut it off, and squeezed her foot into the shoe, and, concealing the pain she felt, went down to the Prince."
These are definitely not Disney. How could we read such horrid tales to our children? In fact, fairy tales should not be read to very young children, unless you leave out the more graphic parts. This is best done, by not reading and just telling them the stories. As children get older, however, fairy tales become a wonderful way to teach all sorts of virtues and point out the consequences of vices. Fairy Tales are filled with noble, loyal and loving characters. They can teach children to be brave as they face fear, to be loyal even when it would materially behoove them to be disloyal. It teaches them to be truthful and kind. It also teaches them that evil exists. That they are consequences to one's soul if you stray from a noble path.
Children need to process these truths slowly and within a realm that they can understand. Fairy Tales are perfect for this. When you tell a story or read to a child, the child will process what he can, as opposed to a movie (especially on a big screen) where they are bombarded with imagery that can be scary, even if it's not to us adults. I remember taking my daughter to see Ratatouille. She was about four years old. There is a scene where the rats are going down a sewer pipe. The visual is fantastic from an adult perspective. The water is tumbling rapidly, you see the rat go under, you see him tumbling in the water, he briefly comes up for air and then gets dragged down again by the current. I was enjoying it tremendously when I felt a tug on my arm and I looked over at my girl. She was horrified. She had tears streaming down her cheeks and had a tight hold on my arm. Young children have no filters. She had no way to processes what she was seeing, but she could feel it with every bit of her body. What a wake up call for me.
Now at age seven, we read fairy tales and I've even started reading some of the gruesome parts, but we still don't watch very many movies.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Fairy Tales
This week we are focusing on fairy tales. The first one we read was Goldilocks and the Three Bears. It's one of my favorites! There is repetition and somehow the bears are not scary like the wolf in Red Riding Hood. In fact, in the one I read it states that the bears are polite and very well mannered. I love any book that gives me a chance to talk about manners. After reading the story each child drew and colored a picture of a bear. In the afternoon the kids put on a play! We used our housekeeping and reading corner furniture for props and used the napping mats for the beds. One girl was Goldilocks, one child was papa bear. He carried a stuffed teddy baby that was baby bear. One child was mama bear and the rest were the audience. What fun. It was a good way for me to see how much of the story they remembered and understood. Later in the afternoon, they organized and put on their own play. They made some changes as some of the kids had gone home, but all in all it was a wonderful production.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Space: A New Frontier
This week the theme was Space. What fun! The kids made this which is proudly hanging in the classroom:
This was a great project all around. The "Sun" is a wreath purchased at Dollar Tree. It was painted with yellow tempera paint and sprinkled with glitter. Lots of glitter! The planets are different sized styrofoam balls also from Dollar Tree. I purchased them last year, knowing I wanted the kids to do a mobile at some point. Much to Isabela's relief the day finally came when I said, "Yes you can open the bags with the styrofoam balls!" The kids tore different colored tissue paper. They sorted (a math skill) the planets according to size. Mercury is small, Pluto is tiny, Jupiter is huge. Then they decided what colors to do each planet. Earth is blue and green. Mars is red and Uranus is green due to the gases, Neptune is blue because the gases are different. (That's what I was told by the kids. They used problem-solving skills to come to an agreement, reasoning and deductions to come to their conclusions) The kids used big brushes to spread thinned glue onto the balls and covered them in tissue. (motor skill) We had to let the sun and the planets dry for a couple of days. (Patience) Then we used a screwdriver to put screws into each planet and someone suggested adding glue around the edge of the screw to make it extra secure. (Fine motor skill) Finally with some help from me, the silk thread was tied to each planet and I hung them from the sun as the kids called out the order. We even had a discussion about whether or not Pluto is in fact a planet. So much to learn from such a fun, simple project.
The kids also painted these:
The one above is our Solar System painted by I who is 7 years old.
This one is a star going Supernova painted by L who is 8 years old.
This one is a galaxy painted by D who is 7 years old.
The fun, exploring and learning didn't just happen while doing arts and crafts. I managed to save some pretty big boxes and the kids made a really cool spaceship! Unfortunately it was destroyed while re-entering the atmosphere. Who knew it would be raining in Oregon in July? Finally our hula hoops served as costumes. Each child pretended to be Saturn and see how fast they could make their ring spin. According to the kids, the rings around Uranus must spin faster than the rings around Saturn because it's easier to spin the hoops vertically around your arm than it is to spin horizontally around your waist. We also check out this site.
I love watching the kids get excited and love that they are eager to learn. I can't wait until next week. Stay tuned for Fairy Tales old and new.
This was a great project all around. The "Sun" is a wreath purchased at Dollar Tree. It was painted with yellow tempera paint and sprinkled with glitter. Lots of glitter! The planets are different sized styrofoam balls also from Dollar Tree. I purchased them last year, knowing I wanted the kids to do a mobile at some point. Much to Isabela's relief the day finally came when I said, "Yes you can open the bags with the styrofoam balls!" The kids tore different colored tissue paper. They sorted (a math skill) the planets according to size. Mercury is small, Pluto is tiny, Jupiter is huge. Then they decided what colors to do each planet. Earth is blue and green. Mars is red and Uranus is green due to the gases, Neptune is blue because the gases are different. (That's what I was told by the kids. They used problem-solving skills to come to an agreement, reasoning and deductions to come to their conclusions) The kids used big brushes to spread thinned glue onto the balls and covered them in tissue. (motor skill) We had to let the sun and the planets dry for a couple of days. (Patience) Then we used a screwdriver to put screws into each planet and someone suggested adding glue around the edge of the screw to make it extra secure. (Fine motor skill) Finally with some help from me, the silk thread was tied to each planet and I hung them from the sun as the kids called out the order. We even had a discussion about whether or not Pluto is in fact a planet. So much to learn from such a fun, simple project.
The kids also painted these:
The one above is our Solar System painted by I who is 7 years old.
This one is a star going Supernova painted by L who is 8 years old.
This one is a galaxy painted by D who is 7 years old.
The fun, exploring and learning didn't just happen while doing arts and crafts. I managed to save some pretty big boxes and the kids made a really cool spaceship! Unfortunately it was destroyed while re-entering the atmosphere. Who knew it would be raining in Oregon in July? Finally our hula hoops served as costumes. Each child pretended to be Saturn and see how fast they could make their ring spin. According to the kids, the rings around Uranus must spin faster than the rings around Saturn because it's easier to spin the hoops vertically around your arm than it is to spin horizontally around your waist. We also check out this site.
I love watching the kids get excited and love that they are eager to learn. I can't wait until next week. Stay tuned for Fairy Tales old and new.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Grace
I was speaking to a young lady about all the wonderful things that are going on at Ivy League-West this summer. She was very excited and told me how her sister was majoring in child development. She went on to tell me how much she's learned from her sister and how now she sees parents at the grocery store and just wants to walk up to them and tell them how wrong what they are doing is.
I smiled. I remembered being 18 and working at a preschool with women in their 60's who still, to my dismay, referred to themselves as baby-sitters. At staff meetings I raised my hands eagerly with bright eyes to share all the things I had learned that they could not possibly know. Did I mention they were in their 60's? I blushed. I remembered being 21 and doling out parenting advice like it was going out of style to parents who had not requested it. I sighed. I remembered seeing, perhaps the very parents she's referring to and feeling like handing them my business card and telling them that parenting doesn't have to be so darn difficult.
I looked at this young girl and confronted what I do every day. How can I correct her misconception without stifling her enthusiasm. This is what I told her;
"Well yes, I've been there too. I see parents struggling at best, being completely inappropriate at worst and I too sometimes want to speak up, but then I remind myself that I'm looking through a very tiny window in what is a small part of the day and I don't know what this day has been like for that parent. They could have just received some terrible news or they could be dealing with an illness or they could be doing what's best at that moment for their child who may have a need that I am not aware of. There have been moments where, even with all my training and knowledge, I've snapped at my kids in public. These are moment where I am not at my best. They don't happen often, but if you happened to see me at that moment, you would judge that I was not a good mother, and I am a good mother."
She asked me if I had ever said anything to a parent.
"Yes, actually. If the parent is being inappropriate when they come to pick up their child, I will go over our policies with them and make an appointment to assess if they should continue to bring thier child to me. If it happens while I'm out and about and I don't know the parent, I say a prayer for both the parent and child because it is at moments when we are at our worst that we need God's grace the most. Everyone is doing the best they know how and I just remind myself that that's all anyone can do until they learn to do and be better."
I smiled. I remembered being 18 and working at a preschool with women in their 60's who still, to my dismay, referred to themselves as baby-sitters. At staff meetings I raised my hands eagerly with bright eyes to share all the things I had learned that they could not possibly know. Did I mention they were in their 60's? I blushed. I remembered being 21 and doling out parenting advice like it was going out of style to parents who had not requested it. I sighed. I remembered seeing, perhaps the very parents she's referring to and feeling like handing them my business card and telling them that parenting doesn't have to be so darn difficult.
I looked at this young girl and confronted what I do every day. How can I correct her misconception without stifling her enthusiasm. This is what I told her;
"Well yes, I've been there too. I see parents struggling at best, being completely inappropriate at worst and I too sometimes want to speak up, but then I remind myself that I'm looking through a very tiny window in what is a small part of the day and I don't know what this day has been like for that parent. They could have just received some terrible news or they could be dealing with an illness or they could be doing what's best at that moment for their child who may have a need that I am not aware of. There have been moments where, even with all my training and knowledge, I've snapped at my kids in public. These are moment where I am not at my best. They don't happen often, but if you happened to see me at that moment, you would judge that I was not a good mother, and I am a good mother."
She asked me if I had ever said anything to a parent.
"Yes, actually. If the parent is being inappropriate when they come to pick up their child, I will go over our policies with them and make an appointment to assess if they should continue to bring thier child to me. If it happens while I'm out and about and I don't know the parent, I say a prayer for both the parent and child because it is at moments when we are at our worst that we need God's grace the most. Everyone is doing the best they know how and I just remind myself that that's all anyone can do until they learn to do and be better."
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